Of course, there are some things that stick in my mind
- the particular baptisms I've done... I'm still in contact with the family of the very first baptism I did. There is the baptism that I did that had great-grandpa singing afterwards, and the church filled with tears of joy. There was also the baptism of a dear friend just hours before he went on to eternal life.
- the weddings I've officiated... the one that the father of the bride worked hard to walk the bride down the aisle, not allowing his health to hold him back. The wedding on an open wagon in a field on a beautiful day. The older couple who came to be married, and the "youthful orneriness" they have.
- The friends I've made along the way - some at the moment, some years later. Some of my friends are people who, when we first met, probably couldn't stand me, but over the years, we've found a common ground and support one another, whether face-to-face or through social media. There are even those that cheap "cowboy" hats or "thrown" books come to mind.
- Some funerals... As morbid as that sounds, funerals stick in my mind. The third funeral I did when friends wanted to thrown a little "party" right after the committal service at the cemetery. Or when a funeral director pushed the button on the CD player one-too many times when trying to queue Alan Jackson's "Remember When", and instead, we all heard the beginning of "Little Bitty" (after the folks started laughing, we all figured "why not!"). Or the funerals of community matriarchs; or the hero for how he possibly saved others before losing his life.
- Of course, my granddaughters. Playing with them gives me so much joy, but my heart weeps when I have to say "good bye" to them, or when I see their sad faces, lately because grandpa blinked and his precious package fell and hurt her little nose. (Just thinking about how I took her in my arms and comforted her brings tears to my eyes).
Through the years, it's hard to imagine who I am now versus who I was five years ago or ten years ago or 15 or 20 years back. I'm wondering if with old age comes more cynicism, but I see plenty of folks who are my age and older who are happy and full of joy. I think of the things that do give me joy - my granddaughters, the humor I find - and I sometimes find sorrow as well because of something lingering in the shadows. I think of my health and wonder what tomorrow or next month or next year will have in store, but I also think "remember where you were a couple of years back?" I think of my ministry, and wonder about the lives I've touched -- or have I? Sure, I can wonder that... I do know of one or two because they said so (or "so they said" LOL), but I can only ponder- will I be that "weird bald guy who never got his words straight" or the "cool guy who could give Graham a run for his money" (well, if I'm going to wonder, I might as well go big, right? lol)
But through it all, I can't help but wonder "why"... Why did I do this or Why did I do that. Why did I try it this way or Why did I decide to go that direction.
Yeah, Why ask Why... but after being asked "why" so many times, I seem to find myself asking the same question - Why?
Life is full of turns, changes, twists, tumbles, and tons of pitfalls. But as I was once (or twice, or thrice) told, I'm a grandpa!! So there is some joy. There is some happiness. There is something out there.
