Christmas for the young and young-at-heart.

As I walked into one of my Christmas Eve Candlelight Services, I noticed at least a dozen or so children in the congregation. Some faces were familiar; some were visitors - new or repeat. As I went into my office to put on my alb and prepare my notes, I thought of a Kids’ Christmas Message that I had seen, and thought “why not – these kids are gotta lose it after the third ‘angelic’ and fifth ‘manger’.” And the direction of the Christmas Eve Message was about Jesus being born in a world of Have-Nots, so I’m guess that visions of sugarplums, reindeer, and mountains of wrapping paper would be more interesting to these kids. Can’t blame them – at that age, my mind was on bikes, transistor radios, and Viewmasters.

 

Anyhow… I started the Service and gave some introductory instructions (what to expect, where to find the restrooms, if anyone needs help, etc), and just as I was wrapping up, a little girl stands up on a pew towards the back and shouts for my attention.

Well, who am I to ignore a child in church?

So I said “Hi”, to which I got a “Hi” in return.

“Do you want to sing a song?” I then asked.

“Yeah!” was the quick response.
Well, then a song it was – so we proceeded with the Opening Hymn. After all, she wanted to sing, and who am I to ignore a child in church?

When I took the opportunity to give the Kids’ Message, the same little girl was very attentive. By that, I mean that if I asked a question that got a loud response, she would come up to me to answer. Or show-off her cute outfit. Or just show-off how cute she was.

Hard to say because by this point, she scored in all areas.

Then came the end of Kids’ Time… The point when the preacher prays with the kids and they go sit down with their parents, or one would think.
Nope, not when Miss Cutie isn’t done taking center stage. She wasn’t ready to go. She wanted to stay up front. Even when her cousin tried to walk her back with no luck, choosing to shout down the aisle “she won’t come!”… what’s a pastor to do?

I walked up to her and tried to sweet-talk her with the thoughts of singing again. After all, we were getting ready to sing another hymn.

Well, that worked! Yep, she’ll get up off the floor for another song. Yep, right back to the chancel steps.

Well why not! I offered her an opportunity, and Miss Cutie took it. So I went over and set down on the step next to her, asked the congregation to turn to the next hymn, and we started singing, and I looked down at Miss Cutie and she’s looking up at me as I’m serenading her with “O Little Town of Bethlehem”. Only after I could convince her that her aunt is a much better singer did Miss Cutie give up the sounds of choking cats to the sweeter tunes of her family’s vocals. 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The point is that Christmas isn’t about the hype and glamour.

It’s about the simple and humble. It’s about the little ones – the young and young at heart. It’s about seeing things through the eyes of a child. It’s about not being so serious about the simple things in life.

 

Little Miss Cutie was having a good time at the Christmas Eve Service, and so was everyone else. We all enjoyed her laughter, her smiles, and her conversations with me. The only regret of the evening was that no one had their cameras or smart-phones handy.

Any other time, we’d have dozens of pictures floating on social media before the end of the Service.

Let’s look at life with a youthful heart, along with the laughter, smiles, and giggles it brings -- not just at Christmastime, but all year long.

MERRY Christmas!!

"Christmas Cards"

I've noticed that I don't send as many Christmas cards as I once did. Or should I say that I haven't sent any cards this year. I'm not a Scrooge (I think). I haven't lost the Holiday Spirit (I hope). I have somehow not made cards a priority.

At one time, cards were a big thing for me. I was finding the right card for each member of my family, and then buying two or three different sets so that I had a variety of cards to choose from. But then as I started working with more and more people, I ran into an issue of who to give a card to directly, and who gets the "general office card". Finally, when I became a pastor, well, to write dozens on top of dozens of cards, or give a Greeting in a newsletter or bulletin, or state it in a special Christmas edition of the newspapers. I've learned that no matter what I do, someone along the way wasn't going to be happy, and until recently have I learned to be ok with that (I can't please everyone).

But today I recalled how my brother has found time to bake treats, run, work, and cover extra shifts, and yet I can't seem to find the time to sleep. Why? Am I burning out? Am I tired? Am I focusing too much on the "work" of the Holiday and not the reason for the Holiday (not "practicing what I preach" - literally)?

Admittedly, time management is not one of my gifts. So now that I've managed to find some time, I want offer an apology, ask for forgiveness, wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas, and extend to you my Christmas card featuring my granddaughters and me. CLICK HERE

Blessings to you and yours!!

Either side of the fence has the other side, and to sit in the middle is painful.

I'm not much for news. To be honest, I'm tired of it.
Granted, the news has a purpose, and when done right, it is a great service, but when I see a person hound someone to get the answer the person wants to tilt the scales, or when someone is misquoted in the media (especially "off the record" is printed and THAT is even misquoted - yeah, been there, done that), I've realized that too much brain energy is spent on discerning what's true or not as opposed to where the need for love and compassion is at.

But then comes the lefts and rights. The this-sides and that-sides. The our-way and their-way. Even people who will state the "open option" (whether your this or that) and then tell you how to think.

Seriously?
No one can think for themselves anymore?
As a society, we're so messed up that we need someone to think for us? And who is the best person for that - you? me? the Fox News or CNN reporter? the blogger with 1500 hits?

As the title of this blog says, you are on your side of the fence, and there are two sides of a fence. Face it, there is. And don't trust me - I don't work for a cable news service. Go look for yourself.
But when you try to stay in the middle (hear both sides, be in a conversation with everyone), it's painful (when checking that fence, straddle it, and see if it doesn't hurt!). But that's the cross we bear sometimes (yeah, a little phrase from my own occupation). But if we don't hear another side, we won't understand anything in the first place. We're nothing more than a bunch of robots who will bounce ourselves against the walls until our batteries run down.

The other day, someone mentioned that they called a plumber to clear a drain, based on the information that "the toilet was hopelessly clogged". The plumber showed up, grabbed a plunger, and after a few tries, opened the drain.
Fifty dollars for something the guy could have done himself. No, he wasn't happy.
But like he said, had he thought for himself instead of giving into some hype, the issue would have been resolved a lot quicker and cheaper.
(And truth-be-told, I gave into some of the same hype!)

We can all think for ourselves, but we can also listen to others to gain an understanding. It doesn't mean that we have to change our minds, but we can share some love and compassion. We can stop slinging ugly and hateful speech. We can stop shutting people down. We can allow people to be who or what they are or what they think, just as we would want to be who we are or be allowed to think a certain way.

If we can't get along, where will that lead us?

Blessed are the meek

I've said it before, and as much as I dislike repeating myself, I'll say it again - my blogs are my opinions, viewpoints, etc. After all, that's what a blog is.

This time of year can be stressful for me. There are some end-of-the-year items to take care of around my office, as well as getting the Sunday and other worship services put together. That being said, "Murphy" tends to show up a lot - you know, Murphy's Law... so at some point, something will happen, and so far, "Murphy" has even found a way into every aspect of my day AND night life.

In a recent meeting with a couple of ladies, as we were discussing some plans for the upcoming year, one of them commented about the various issues I probably encounter in any given day. Unfortunately, I didn't have my volumes of notes to go over what had happened in the previous hours, but we also didn't have the time either. LOL

Even though Christmas is about giving, love, caring, and humility, remembering that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the Christ-child, this time of year seems to bring out a side of people that often times can't be explained. Grouchy, irritable, tired, worn out... you name it, it's there.

But why are we worn out? Why are we grouchy? Why are we tired? Why are we irritable?
Is it because someone doesn't want to have a Merry Christmas? That's their issue - pray for them.
Is it because someone doesn't like someone else and wants to take it out on you? Let them deal with their issues. And pray for them.
Is it because they have other issues happening in their life? Be compassionate and understanding and pray for them.

All too often we let the rush of the world blind us from the some important things in life that we should be concerned with
...The guy might look grumpy, but he just got bad news about his family.
...The lady might have rushed out of a meeting and not said anything, but maybe she had only a few minutes to be with a loved one.
...The family doesn't say much, but maybe they've been judged harshly sometime in the past.

Sometimes it's the little things in life that make the greatest impact. Cherish them. Value them. Appreciate them.

a Christmas memory

A Christmas memory of mine is of how we, as a family, would go out to my grandparents homes. By that, I mean that we would go to one grandparent's house and another, sometimes back and forth. They lived about eleven miles apart, so it was somewhat simple. At the time, it might have seemed a little odd for me, but as I'm making my own plans, I'm juggling schedules with my daughter-in-law and her family plans as well. Now I'm understanding the whole back and forth thing.

The two southwest Ohio Christmases were different - my mom was an only-child, so it was just the four of us kids - we could all sit around one large table to eat, and I still remember Santa Claus showing up when we were opening our gifts. My dad was the oldest of six, and so the adults would be in one room while the kids would go in another room. All of the family was still together at key points though - we just went in different rooms because when you have so many children playing under the feet of a dozen adults, someone could get their fingers stepped on.

A big difference compared to today is how as kids, we were playing with toy cars and trucks and stuff. The neatest electronic toy of the day might have been some handheld football game that showed dots on a screen.
Nowadays it's whatever "i" or "droid" that can gig and boot.

The talk of the day (that I remember) was what else Santa brought us.
Now it's whatever news - rumored, maybe true, or true - is on the internet.

Dinner was all homemade. My Grandma Burkhardt would make Chex-Mix before someone did the wrong thing by bagging it, which is (in my opinion) no where close to the same.
Now I'm listening to everyone talk about how busy they are to cook (side note - my brother works, covers overtimes, runs over an hour every day, and can find time to bake dozens of cookies each night. Sorry, no sympathy here).

What if we went back to a simpler time? What if we put away the electronics and turned off the media devices and cell phones? What if we set down with our friends and loved ones for Christmas?
What would Christmas be like?

Do I smile? Do you?

There is a running joke with some people about whether or not I smile. Some say that I don't. Some say that I'm always grumpy. Some will say "that IS his smile".

The truth is that yes, I smile. I even laugh. I've even been known to laugh uncontrollably.

But there is also a truth that is the "unnamed" response. I've blogged about it before, and if you follow me on social media, you may have even seen some posts that I've shared that have talked about this "unnamed" issue.

I'm not sure why it's unnamed. Maybe it's because pastors/clergy/ministers/priests are "professional". We stand at a pulpit and preach a Message of love and grace. We give a eulogy when one of our flock as passed. We comfort the hurting in their times of need. We visit the sick and injured when they're laid up.
And we listen to the issues of the day - the light bulb wasn't replaced from yesterday. The grass is 1/4 inch too high. The flowers in the Narthex aren't quite right. The Message we preached wasn't nice. We're over on the mileage budget. We're not visiting enough. The coffee pot was 2 inches to the left during Fellowship. The cookies were too big. The weather is too cold or hot.
... And that's while we're working on the next Service - planning the Litany, Congregational Prayers, hymns, and researching, planning, and writing a Message. And that's as long as there are not interruptions from any of the above. Toss in any issues, and the "workday" has at least tripled when you figured travel time.

So do I smile? Yes. But I have other emotions as well.
For example, I cry.
This morning, I cry for the little boy who has struggled and fought (more than I could!) for a year with a transplant, only to have it removed later. (side note: the removal will help him to be better, but this kid has been such a trooper for over a year - including staying in a hospital this entire time - only to have another surgery. I don't think anyone can have that kind of strength).
I cry for those who are struggling. So many things to worry about, but the truth is that there is hope. But when struggling, I also understand that it takes a little extra work to be calm.

And I cry for many other reasons, including my own. There is an unwritten rule that shepherds can't have emotions, that we have to "keep it together". But I'll let you in on something - ever since the song "Pass It On" was used at a funeral at my first parish, I can't sing it without getting choked up. I can't sing "Let There Be Peace On Earth" without shedding a tear. And I get emotional when people get ugly at others.

Maybe the key is to have more peace. More peace towards one another. Then we can see what troubles and issues others are having, even while we're going through our issues. Maybe we can extend love and understanding to each other.
Maybe we can all smile.

Tis the Season

I have to admit that I've grown to be a little bit of a cynic. Maybe I'm becoming the Grinch. Could it be that my heart has become two sizes too small?

I've wondered about this year after year with no success. Or am I over thinking this? After all, I've celebrated Christmas year after year. I have. I've thought about it as I've written Advent and Christmas Eve Messages, consoled the lost and mourning at this time of year, and searched for the few spare minutes to get some resemblance of a Christmas tree put up in my living room.

OK - I'm a little, or a lot, sarcastic. But in a way, I've found myself working more instead of absorbing the joys that I've been so accustom to this time of year. Some of this is because of my life (job), and some of it is the "side stuff" while trying to relax.
No, I'm not going to try to explain it - I've got docs and shrinks on speed-dial for that. And I think that have their own shrinks on speed-dial after dealing with me. Can't blame them.

My brother enjoys this time of year. I think he transforms his entire living room, and in his blog, he talks about the smell of a live tree and fresh baked cookies. But as I read it, I couldn't recall those scents. I remember my mom working in the kitchen for what seemed like days making all kinds of cookies, and I remember that we had live Christmas trees when I was a kid (which at the time, drove me nuts because we had to pick those needles out of the carpet).
Then as I was picking up a few things at the local grocery store this afternoon, I caught a whiff of the fresh wreaths for sale. Pine wreaths. And the memories came back like a rush of warm air on a cold day.
And when I came home, I watch a video of a airline that did a special promo Christmas surprise for some of their customers. It made me think back to the times when I played Santa Claus - the many times. And most of all, I recalled a time when I was Santa for a special group of kids who were in a  group home because of abuse or neglect, and the gifts that Santa gave them that day were possibly the only gifts they'd get.

I preach about what the Season is about, but in the rush of the world, this is one of the busy-times. At Christmastime, when families are together worshiping, or gathering together around the dinner table, or traveling to be with loved ones afar, I've been behind the pulpit, or getting a meal at a friend's church on the way to see someone in the hospital, or making plans for the next worship service.

No, I'm not doing a "pity me" thing - I'm realizing that I need to open my eyes.

So after I preach at my two churches on Christmas Eve, I'm taking a break. I'm going to enjoy life. I'm going to catch up on lost time with my granddaughters. I'm going to find that smile again. (Yeah, I really do "smile" sometimes). I'm going to go do something and have fun doing it.

Life is not about what we get or give. It's about what's in the heart... The memories, the joy. The peace. The hope. The love.
... and I think my Grinch-heart just grew three sizes.

The darkness of death or the light of life?

As I mentioned in my previous post and in a few Facebook comments, I've spent the past few days learning a lot not so much through the continuing education classes I'm in (although I am learning a lot in those), but from my friends. I would say colleagues, but I can also call these people friends, and I would be remiss if I didn't.

One of the conversations we had was how we dealt with funerals or memorial services. If I understood correctly, another pastor felt that there was too much emphasis on talking about the person and not about the resurrection of Christ. Some might separate the two topics as Message and Eulogy.

When I looked up the definition of "funeral", the word "ceremony" kept coming up, as well as a time of remembering a person.
So I took the hint of a couple of my friends as well as the words I say each time - that we are there to "celebrate the life" of a person. But I also preach the gospel, meaning the Good News, of Jesus Christ, and how he died and rose again to take the sting of death away. For that, we have the promise of hope.

I used those words as I met with a family earlier today, and something happened - something that I don't think has ever quite happened in my 9+ years of pastoral ministry. Call it the Holy Spirit.
When I explained the Service and purpose of the Service, the family began to weep, remembering their loved one, but then opened up more than I have ever seen, and we had a grand time talking about their fun and fond memories.

We mourn loss - even pastors mourn. But we also celebrate the life. And we celebrate the hope and grace given to us - a gift, given to each and every one of us, without a price.

Celebrate.

Verbal ..., Spoken ..., Communicated ...,

As in many occupations, as a United Methodist pastor, I'm required to do continuing education. Currently I'm taking a Preaching class with about 60 or 70 other pastors around Nebraska and Kansas, a few as new as I am (if you can call 9+ years "new") and some who have been preaching for over 20 years, taught by two professors from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas (Thank God for web conferencing, when it works well). I'm also in a Pastoral Effectiveness class that uses Systems Theory by Boden from the 50s or so and translates it into church and pastoral ministry through the teachings of Rabbi Edwin Friedman.
An easier way to say all of might be that I'm learning where to draw lines and bettering my skills.

For me, one of the best part of continuing education is the opportunity to come together with my friends and colleagues from around the region. We get to share our joys and concerns. We get to share ideas how dealing with issues. We get to pull out the pictures of the kids and grandkids. We get to lift up the highs and vent about the lows.

My latest trip was one of my best, not necessary because of class sessions, but because of the trip. I had the pleasure of carpooling with a couple of colleagues and the opportunity to talk about things from new paint on the walls to new ideas in ministry to safely chatting about the news locally, regionally, and nationally. There was even an opportunity for me as I learned a new phrase that had been coined by someone else, although there may have been some agreement to try something different.

The trip back home took two hours (for all of us together), and as my friends were conversing about one of the subjects, I was able to quietly reflect and give thanks that I had that opportunity to be with those people there, and the people early that day in the class. I was thankful for the person in class who chatted with me about something that had happened in my life, and while I felt remorse in how was dealing with it, her concern was how I was feeling and doing and how life was going for me.  I was thankful for the support of the colleagues that I was in class with and that we are supportive of each others ministry, even standing firm on how we all have different styles of worship and preaching styles. I'm thankful for the ministry and hospitality of those who make our stays comfortable and pleasing when I'm at my continuing ed classes.

Now that it's just Dingo and me in the house, life is different again, and to vent, chat, talk, whatever is different - Dingo just looks at me. But if I ask Dingo for her advice, she usually just gets one of her chew toys and expects to be scratched. No help.

But I'm thankful for those who allow me to be me and who allow themselves to be themselves. Yes, we are pastors, but first, we're human.
... And there is joy watching someone get excited about an empty frame or a painted wall =)

The tale of two clubs

Once upon a time there was a person who visited a club. This person already knew the area, and knew the leader. This person wasn't looking for anything special, but what happened was surprising.
After visiting the club, this person got a letter from the club, which could be because of a "system" that has been in place for years by the club, not the leader, for this practice has been in place in the history of at least a few leaders. And again, this person already knew the leader.
This person also received a small gift from the club with a note. Again, a practice that has been in place for years.

This person also visited another club, although the situation was a little different. The other club had a situation that needed the assistance of many people, and this person jumped in and helped. This person helped the club, although only a few of the club members were there to work. While those of the club had some who are unable to do some tasks, and other would have showed up to their clubhouse unprepared, no one went to this particular person to say thanks, or to help out, or to offer a cup of coffee. While some might say that this person could have gone in where a reception was being held to get a cup of coffee and then some might have said thank you, would this person have felt welcome?

Some club members have offered reasons or explanations, but this person has already been in clubs that have had older, worn out, few club members.

Which club would this person want to be a part of and why?

Be a hero and Give Thanks

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope that whatever today has in store for you is something that you can celebrate in some way, maybe watching the parade, enjoying a football game, or eating enough food to feed a small country.

 

I just watched a story about Baltimore Raven football player Ray Rice and his work to end bullying and strive towards friendship. He pointed out that bullying has gotten so bad “because of the power of social media”.

 

When I looked up the definitions of bullying, I saw that many things I have seen on social media and heard from people is bullying – straight and plain. Someone can be a bully if they belittle someone because of a difference of opinion (ie: “My news channel is better than yours”) or anything degrading through a disagreement (ie: “You’re an idiot for thinking we’re going to change”). (Yes, the examples might seem far-fetched, but these are statements I’ve heard or seen in the past month).

Does this mean that people cannot have a difference of opinion or disagree? No. It means that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and people need to understand that there may be a point when further research is needed or it is just time to agree to disagree.

 

Rice also pointed out that we should “Be kind to somebody, because you never know what someone’s going through.” In a time of turmoil of uncertainties, this statement can’t ring any louder. We don’t know what someone else is going through. We don’t know the phone call that someone just received or the visit that so-and-so just encountered or the small disaster that the guy around the corner just dealt with. We can’t read someone’s mind or translate the stress that  someone is going through.

 

In a time when we can watch “hero” movies, let’s start at home, or better yet, within ourselves. As the story I saw pointed out, “You can be a hero just by being someone’s friend”.

 

Give thanks for what you do have. You may not agree with that lady, but bless-her-heart for being there when something is needed. You may not like that guy, but less-his-heart for praying for your family the other day when you didn’t even realize it. You may not like how things are priced, but thank God that you have a place to purchase that stuff. And the list can go on.

 

Give thanks.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rogue7Vp2uA

 

 

The power of words

The last few months have been a roller coaster - fun and thriller, and a little scary at the corners.
I'm enrolled in two continuing education courses. Two. I really only need one at a time, but one goes through the second half of 2013 and first half of 2014, and the second goes for 18 months, meeting every three months.
I'd say "do the math", but I wouldn't know how to converse about the equations, so the only thing I can explain is that every pastor is suppose to do some sort of education every year, so I can say without any doubt that I'm getting me education.

The type of classes I'm taking seems to flow so much into circumstances around me right now. I've been ministering to people dealing with unique, odd, troubling, or difficult situations (well, duh), but some of the ministering is dealing with how others say or react to a person's issues.

So many times recently, the phase has come up "I told them so" or "I felt it was better if they..." or "I knew what was best for them".
Really? You knew what was best for someone else, who in many cases, is only an acquaintance to you?

Or people, especially in an age of mass misinformation, will put their own spin on a news article, and somehow make it equate to why a situation has turned out a certain way.
So the government is responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. Got it.

The point is that when someone needs a friend to be there for them, or a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to vent to, more often then not, they don't need any sort of "I told you so".

To say goodbye

One part of my "job" is to officiate funerals. It's maybe one of the toughest parts of my job, because when I hardly know the person, I have to do some detective work to find out things in order to give the saint the best Service I can as well as do the best I can for the friends and family.
When it's someone I know, it's even harder, because even though I know something about the person, I've developed some sort of relationship with them.

Today was one of the tough ones for me. A true saint passed away this past week, and it struck me harder than I thought, even while I knew his time on earth was coming to an end.

Something that many people may not realize is that pastors have feelings too. I'm not saying this to build myself up - the family today knew how close this gentleman and I was... I'm saying this because I know of colleagues who are bogged during funeral planning and post-care and don't have time for themselves to mourn.
And as we all mourn in different ways, so do the pastors, as well as the people who help with the other work - the folks who put the fellowship dinner together, or the musician, or the funeral director, or the custodian.

Even though October is "Pastor Appreciation Month", be sure to take time to remember everyone in those moments when too many things are taken for granted.
... after all, it may not be the best cup of coffee, but it is a cup of coffee.

I'm not 50... yet

I turned 49 yesterday. I have to say that I wish that I could have taken the day away to enjoy it a little more, but I had plenty of work to get done, but for me, it's not so much about the "day" as it is about the "celebration". So this Saturday will be the day - doing a Walk in support for Down Syndrome at Pierce High School in the morning, and then going to see Bob Newhart (you know, the EMMY AWARD WINNING for his appearance on the BIG BANG THEORY Bob Newhart)
(Yeah, I'm a fan)

I can recall my 30th birthday because of someone calling me in the middle of the night to be the first to wish me a happy birthday.
I can recall my 40th birthday because the choir of the church I was serving would start the Worship with a song, and the song that day was "Happy Birthday".
And now that I'm getting closer to 50 - much closer - I have to admit that I can feel my heels dragging just a pinch.

The other day as I was driving down the road, I recalled a trip I took with my dad when I was little. I believe we were going to my Grandpa Burkhardt's 50th birthday party.
I could be wrong on a detail or two, but again, I reference my newly acquired age.
I do remember thinking about Grandpa being 50, and thinking "Boy, he's really getting old". Umm, yeah.

I also remember doing the math in my head as I was walking home from elementary school on Columbus Ohio, and thinking "how old will I be in 2000, and what year will I be 30, 40, 50, etc?" And again, the idea of a new century seemed far fetched, let alone being 50 years old. Thank God there was a nice old lady that lived a couple doors down from us who taught me about Heaven and such (it's where I remember first learning "...red, and yellow, black, and white, they are precious in his sight..." and learning about "letting Jesus into your heart", using a particular picture as an illustration).

But as I've rounded the last corner on the road to 50, the idea of being "old enough to be a grandpa" and not being so shocked when the movies I enjoyed in my younger days comes on American Movie Classics.

But one thing that sticks in my head was a recent trip to meet my new doctor. As we were going through my file, I noticed my age and discussed my family history and mentioned "you have a couple of years for "that" procedure.
Then he saw my birth date and said "see you soon".

The Power

When I started preaching, I would be amazed at the number of people that would tell me "good Message" or "great Sermon". I was even more amazed at the number of people who would say that and then I'd remember seeing them sleeping during the Message.

 

But there has been times when someone will come back and chat about a particular part of something I preached. Maybe a sermon illustration, or how the key topic rang in their ears, or how something said reflected on their own life.

In more than a few times, these instances have brought people to tears.

I hope that the tears were from the power of the Holy Spirit touching their lives in some way - maybe a caring memory, or a reassurance of grace. Sometimes people have told me directly how they were touched by something in the Message or the Scripture that particular day.

 

On the other side of that coin are those who see someone moved in a particular way and then will stop and stare, or point out how someone was crying on the way home after church.

 

I've had moments when I've been moved to tears because of a Message or the Word. Heck, there are some hymns that I can't sing because they make me cry (but yes, they will pop up during my churches' Worship Services... there is an advantage to having the pulpit far from people). And to this day, I still get choked up when I think about certain parishioners from my past, young and old, still alive and passed on, and the impact they've made in my ministry.

 

When the Spirit has touched someone in such a visible or meaningful way, it's a great thing to celebrate, especially in a time when we're so rushed that we can't find out own glasses on the bridge of our noses.

 

Let's shout out "I've got the Power!"

 



 

The good ole days

I just spent a few days with my brother. We spent our time looking at old cars, remembering what it was like to drive or ride in certain makes or models. We also drove a couple of hours so my brother could do his #12 on his 48 state run tour, which turned out to be his coldest. I also signed up for a one mile walk, and beat my record pace time. Returning, we stopped at the Ice Cream Capital of the World, Le Mars, Iowa, and among other things, stopped at the Freking Law Office (yeah, that's really it's name). We also watch a OSU game and a couple of Pro Football games on TV. On top of all of that, we got to spend a lot of time visiting.

In the 72 or so hours, I learned to laugh and remember again. I learned to enjoy things that seemed to be forgotten by the rush of my "everyday life". I recalled what it was like to "have fun", even if, as I said, "I rode 2 hours to walk a mile in the rain, and all I got was a t-shirt (and it was a blast!)"

Sure, I miss my brother already, but I'm already looking at my calendar for vacation plans to Ohio to see family and old friends. I'm also looking more at my walking schedule, working at getting my leg back in shape, with a goal of entering a Run at "some point".

It's those times in life when you can step back and not take things so seriously... laughing at those comments you or someone else makes (like someone having two broken arms - as opposed to three? or "you're gonna shake your what"?! (inside joke)).

So go laugh, smile, and have a good day.

Welcome to the Circus

If you've been living under a rock recently, you haven't heard about the auto auction in Pierce, Nebraska this weekend. All sorts of vehicles are being sold, as well as parts and memorabilia.
This has created a circus-like atmosphere for the tiny city of Pierce and the surrounding areas. No one can get a hotel room for hundreds of miles, nor a camping spot. Farmers and businesses have cleared fields to help out, as well as make a few bucks.

Some of this will be interesting. Some cars are unique, sitting on a showroom floor for years, whereas others have sat in a field, exposed to the elements as well as vandals and thieves.

A sad part in this seems to be a hype that has been placed on everything. Sure, there is some history in this old dealership that closed its doors some time ago, but what people don't know about is the stories that the auction company didn't tell - like when they went to interview some old residents at the care home for some video footage and couldn't get anything "nice" to film. Or how the old used cars have been sitting in a field for so long that it's really like seeing a used car lot.

I'm not trying to take away anything from the town. Pierce is a great city full of great people. But the people here know the real history that doesn't always make it to print or the video press.

When everything is back to "normal", I'm sure we'll all have a big sigh of relief. =)

A battle of wits with an unarmed man

I’ve attempted four times to write something, only to roll my eyes at myself, shake my head, or make that sound that sounds like a chipmunk just got hugged too hard.

 

Maybe it’s because I’m surprised at humanity. But given my ‘occupation’ and route through life, I’ve seen a lot. So I can’t really be too surprised.

Maybe it’s because I’ve confused why some people do what they do. But seeing how they go on and on about this, that, or the other via social media, socializing, or any other form of gathering, I just chalk it up to different things. So I can’t be too confused.

Maybe it’s because I don’t remember this sort of behavior when I was growing up. Some old high school friends have told me things that happened that I never knew about, and that did catch me off guard. But these things are happening right in the open for the world to see. So it’s not really a shock.

The only thing I can come up with is that some people think that somewhere in this vast universe, someone owes them something. Maybe because they didn’t have enough as a kid. Or maybe because they had too much. Or maybe because they didn’t understand the meaning of “get all of the facts”. Or maybe no one taught them how to ask a question. Or maybe they think they already have the answers and no one can tell them different. Or maybe they think that no one has the answers and everything is a waste of time.

But then there is that moment when someone comes along and takes that person and puts them in their place. Maybe in a subtle way, maybe direct and blunt. It’s like a bully trying to show up on a playground with a big stick, and the other kid shows up with 20 kids, all with bigger sticks.

Instead of trying to bring your big stick to the playground, how about leaving it at home and seeing how much fun and interesting it could be to just have a good time and learn something from the others?

Someone always has a bigger stick.

Have you ever seen a "Mad Monster Truck"?

I just left my appointment with my new health care provider. I had to switch doctors, as the previous one has retired after many great years of service.
And of course, as most clinics do, I had to step on the scales. The dreaded scales. I knew I wasn't going to be happy with the number because my pants have been getting a little tighter.

Well, let's say that "wasn't going to be happy" can't come close to describing my feelings.
Maybe something like "downright pi$$ed off" could be a better term.

Over the past few months, I've had plenty of changes in my personal and professional life. A lot of great things, but change is change, and change causes me a get a little (lot) stressed out, and then I may "stress eat".
In the past, I've done really great, but lately, it has been as easy. I can make a ton of excuses why, but it all lies in how I'm going to handle everything from here.

I made a commitment some time ago to hit a certain goal, and now instead of getting closer to that goal, or at least teetering in a certain area, I'm watching that goal slip away.

Now I know that some might say "But Kevin, you were walking and stuff, and muscle weighs more than fat.
Well, thank you. But I also don't have the build like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

So here's how's it's going to be... I am going to hit this thing full steam, rolling over anything that gets in my way. Head on. Direct. Kicking butt and taking names later. Over the top and laughing all the way. Gritting teeth and snarling the the nay-sayers.
So here's the starting number - 318.
... And bless your hearts. 

Look inside or fall on the outside

It has been a while since my last blog. A long while. A very long while, considering when I started this a couple of years ago, it was a challenge to be my “Wesley-like” and keep up with the discipline of journaling.
It is what it is.

Just because I haven’t kept up doesn’t mean that nothing has happened. Oh, trust me, as the saying goes, “life is what you make it”, and I’ve got enough to feed an army!

I’ve started reading “Generation to Generation” by Edwin Friedman. It’s for an 18-month course that I’m taking that is dealing specifically with dealing with Family Systems Theory. It will probably be one of the best courses I’ll ever take.

Something that has been brought up in Friedman’s book as well as the course is how people become excited or anxious in particular situations, and when they do, it causes other people to become just as excited in many different ways. I’ve seen this SO MUCH on social media. Things like the recent news in Georgia of a young man who went into a school intending not to hurt any students or staff. Or the different drills around the country of how to deal with particular situations.

Other situations poke their head up in similar situations… “my problems are bigger than yours”, or “why does so-and-so have to keep everything private”, or “this is what happened with me, so this is how it’s going to happen to you”, or how someone has no concept about a person’s job, but will dictate how that person needs to do their job.

I recently did an experiment with a group of people where I sat in a room and said nothing. Absolutely nothing. For some of you, this may seem impossible, and maybe even shocking, but really, I did it – said nothing. Doing so, there was a noticeable rise in the anxiety level because a certain group of people (let’s say, um, the “test subjects”), expected a reaction and didn’t get any. The funny part was when I was later approached and asked if there was a problem because all I did was smile the entire time.

… Did I have a problem because I was smiling? That will be a chapter in my book someday.

 

The point is – sometimes our true happiness isn’t in the issues around us, but in the happiness within us.
If we worry about ourselves instead of trying to stand on a pedestal, our insides will feel much nicer.
(and the higher you try to put yourself on a pedestal, the harder you’ll fall when someone easily knocks you down)

Smaller clothes, more to pack

Just over a year ago I started my new lifestyle, and after a month, I was at the Nebraska United Methodist Annual Conference. A lot of people mentioned that they could see the ten pounds that I had lost (they saw it in my face - ref: John Pinette YouTube video about that!). Now I'm getting ready to go back for this year's Annual Conference, 70 pounds lighter. I'm wondering where people will say they'll see the loss from (be careful how you answer this one!)
As I'm packing for the Sessions, meetings, and such, I've noticed that I have smaller-sized clothes than last year (bonus!), but I'm also packing more clothes because of the exercising I'm doing - maybe a walk or jog in the morning, then change into some business attire, then later in the day, change into something for a walk in the evening, and depending on the meetings or dinner plans, having something ready to wear for that.

So as I'm noticing that my "Conference clothes" are taking up less space in my luggage, my overall trip requires more clothes...
How did this happen?
I did agree to take on the "steps" challenge through the Conference (who gets the most steps on their pedometer), but I also have a smaller car to save fuel.
I'm trying to be more economical. Less body weight. Smaller car.
Something isn't adding up.

Ah, whatever. I'll just go for it and smile.

One down, twelve down, 52 down...

About a year ago I started with the full focus and determination to live a new life. I wanted to live more healthier, happy, and energetic. Well, you can't beat 'em all.

Actually, I'm probably am more healthier. I set a goal of losing 100 pounds with a variable of "whatever", meaning that wherever I was in a year, so be it. A year later, I'm around 70 pounds lost. I've had some ups and downs, but it is what it is. I'm not huffing and puffing. I'm not sweating grease. Some medicines that I was taking have been trimmed back or eliminated all together.

I am happier, even though I still don't smile as much as I'm told I should. I laugh more. I find joy in things. And to the dismay of some people, I do find laughter in how people don't understand me.
But that's ok. I'm not here to please you. Bless your heart. =)

I can also say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I'm much more energetic. When I started on my new lifestyle, I was doing some serious walking, even winning "bragging rights" at the Annual Conference Steps Challenge", but then walking the two miles around town - different terrain and elevations - proved to be the real challenge. The toughest part was the start - getting from the door to the street, and that was downhill. I was walking the two miles in about 48 minutes, 46 if the weather was right and there was oxygen waiting for me at the other end.
Now, my best time is 33 minutes, and that's because I can start off jogging uphill for a block and then keeping up a quick pace the rest of the way. I'm really excited to see what I can do when I get the "right kind" of clothing.
There are certain things that happen when losing this much weight, so that means I have to do some shopping.

That brings me to a strange twist. A year ago, I was looking through my clothes for something that would fit me. Now, I'm looking through my clothes for something that will fit me.
Yeah, same issue, but different ends. A year ago, clothes were too tight. Now, clothes are too loose. I didn't think I'd complain about it until the other day as I was responding to a fire call and my loose shirt got caught on a door knob. I'm sure I'll laugh about that later after the pain goes away (just kidding). But I'm sure that my "snapping back" looked funny from a distance.

A month after starting my new lifestyle, I had lost ten pounds. A lot of people at the Nebraska United Methodist Annual Conference commented that they could see it in my face.
I was disappointed that I had "only lost" ten pounds until my brother pointed out that I was well above average. Wow! I'm never above average. Ask anyone. Plus listening to comedian John Pinette talking about "seeing it in the face" makes me still chuckle.
Next month is our next Annual Conference. Wonder what sort of comments I'll hear this time.

I have found that this biggest disadvantage to losing weight is that I can't carry snacks at a football game nearly as well. Let me explain.
Part of my "new lifestyle" involved not worrying about "being starved" from certain things. If I wanted a hot dog and popcorn at a football game, then I'll have some. And I enjoy high school football games, and Pierce HS sure turned up the heat again this year.
But as I lost the fat, I lost the "natural cushion", thus making it a little uncomfortable to sit on the metal bleachers, so I'd take one of those cushions that you'd buy from the kids who are trying to raise money for their school trips or something.
But then I have to carry the cushion, a hot dog, popcorn, and maybe a bottle of pop, up the bleacher steps. What a hassle.
So yeah, sometimes I do miss my butt.

It's been a year now. Twelve months. Fifty-two weeks. But it's not the end - it's only the beginning. So look out, because if I could accomplish what I though to be the impossible, what else can I do?
(That could be a scary thought!)

Have more cheese!!

It's too far.
It's too long.
It's not long enough.
It's too cold.
It's too wet.
It's too dry.
It's too hot.

In the last 72 hours, I've heard so many complaints. This isn't right. That isn't right. He did this. She did that. They won't go here. I can't go there.
Really?

I once measured the distance between two locations. I found out that it's the same distance from point A to point B as it is from point B to point A.
I also found out that if it's 70 degrees outside, it's warmer than 60, and cooler than 80.
I even checked to see if snow will create moisture, and just as I thought, when the snow melted, it turned to water. Wow.

Things don't turn out the way we want. It's just how life goes. We do with what we have in a way in which we have it. For example, wash your car and it will rain, unless you want the rain for your flowers, and then it won't rain for two weeks. Route a trip and you'll end up finding every bump and pothole in the road. Take a "better and faster route" and you'll get stuck in traffic.

I had a goal of 100 pounds lost by this next week. It's not going to happen, but I don't care. I'm very happy with where I am and the progress that I'm continuing to make to get to the 100 pound mark. If I really wanted to complain, I'd gripe that my shoes are loose or that I have to get more smaller-sized clothing. Sheesh - of all the things to complain about.

Day in and day out, people want to "trump" an ailment. If you have a cold, they have a flu. If you have a sore hand, they have a sore arm. I knew of a couple of old ladies who would go back and forth with the "I'm worse than you", to the point of tying up the doctor's office and sometimes an ambulance. Unfortunately, it finally ended when one of the ladies passed away. I guess the other lady couldn't trump that one.

Some people who are close to me have been facing some issues. Each person has asked that it remains private, but what I can say is that the courage that they have had as they faced their issues is something that is quite remarkable. There hasn't been any "whining" or "moaning". There has only been straight out, honest, open conversations. And from these conversations I've learned and grown more and more each time.

Take a look around, and count your blessings. Stop complaining, because everyone knows that you'll only complain about the opposite. Enjoy what you have, because you could have less. Pray for those who are in need, because they may need the strength. Pray for yourself, that you have the heart to be the person who is caring enough for others.

Enjoy life, because it's all you've got.

Your words flow from your heart - and a few streams are pretty muddy.

This past week as seen it's share of trials and heartache... The explosives at the Boston Marathon. Earthquakes in Iran and China. The plant explosion in West.
This week has also seen "heros" emerge from the crowds... People running into a situation to help victims. Communities coming together to assist people they've never met and might not ever see again. Expressions of love and caring from all around the world.

This past week has also seen way too much hatred.

I wish that I could focus on whatever hatred or pain the Massachusetts terrorists may have been feeling. I wish that a focus could stay in one place, reliving any confusion or pain. But not this week, again.
As I watched the social media light up with all sorts of finger-pointing and accusations, as well as every news outlet trying to get the "better scoop" (for example, one outlet was going to interview the  relative of the neighbor of the boat owner - that might be a little far fetched).

People tossing wads of vomit about Muslims or the Islamic faith. But the terrorists were extremists. For example, after the Okahoma City attack some years ago, no one ever talked about "the Catholics" or "the Republicans" (Tim McVay was both). I don't recall near the hype about the NRA back then either (Tim McVay was a member).
People throwing crap-pies about what they thought they saw. First, if you don't understand what's happening, then why fight a battle in which you know you'll lose? For example, there was talk about how the government "must have" known something because there were bomb-sniffing dogs around the Marathon finish line. Yeah, and...? So what if there were dogs? It has been the common scene since 2001. And for those who ague that the dogs couldn't pick up a scent... well, it was a pressure cooker. Have you ever seen one explode in a kitchen? If so, was there explosives being cooked?
People shoveling manure on assumptions. Whether you like the government or not, or whether you like the President or not, how can people point fingers at a baby? The 19-year old was a baby when he and his family came to the United States. And how was it Pres. Obama's fault? I haven't heard a word about Pres. Bush yet (he was the President when the family immigrated).

Here's an idea - instead of feeding into the hype, crap, junk, lies, and hate, how about we stop and pray for everyone affected by all that has happened around the world? How about we give thanks for what we are blessed with? How about we face facts, like our own, and learn to stop the hate and promote the love and caring that has been more evident this past week (trust me, it's there - you just have to open your heart).

Stop the hatred, racism, ugly, or whatever else causing division.
Start loving - plant a tree in honor or memory of someone. Buy a stranger's lunch. Hold a door open. Smile at people. Pet a dog. Cuddle a cat. Hold a baby. Whatever.
Just love.

It's a brand new (Mon)Day... Pass the chips!

Mondays - a day feared by many, a day loathed by some, a day of unwanted miseries for a few.
And it only gets worse if you let it.

The last week has been stressful for me... lining up appointments all the way through summer, getting this paperwork and that form filled out. Watching the pile of mail build on my desk, like a strange alien calling out "read me!"
But my Mondays are a "bright" day for me - or at least they should be. See, Monday's are part of my time off. A day when I should be resting, reflecting, and maybe even doing some housework in between (but I did say "maybe". LOL). Monday's are a day when I can sit back (probably more than I should) and think about how my week has gone, and how I'm going to possibly (possibly!) conquer my new week.

I've found that the more someone worries, frets, and throws a fit about something, the less will be resolved. If I worry about getting the dishes done, I tend not to do them. If I fret about how I'll get something accomplished, I'll make myself sick. If I throw a fit about how I didn't get this or that taken care of, I still won't get this or that done.

I set a goal last May - that I would lose 100 pounds in a year.
I've got two weeks to drop around 30 pounds if I'm going to make that goal.

Being realistic, I'm not going to lose 15 pounds a week - that is truly asking way too much. But also being realistic, I have to ask myself how I feel now versus a year ago. I can't worry. I can't fret. I can't throw a fit.
A year ago, it killed me to walk out of my driveway. And my driveway is downhill. Now, I'll do the driveway AND 2 miles around the town in 10 minutes under my time a year ago.
A year ago, I fought like heck to get some clothes to fit me. I'd suck in my gut to get my shirt to fit better, only to have lost brain cells due to the lack of oxygen from holding my breath for too long. Now, my "problem" is seeing if I've got another hole in my belt so my pants don't slip off, or finding something that fits me because it would be way too big.
A year ago, I would "breath" when I talk. Listening to a recording of myself, you could hear each huff and puff as I would be sorting through my Sermon notes or speaking during a meeting. Now, if I huff and puff, it's because I ran that much further this time and pushed myself to gain more endurance.

Don't let me mislead you. This past year hasn't always been a "walk in the park". As a matter of fact, the City Park serves as a reminder to me of where I'd always to try to call it quits, but knew that I had to 3/4 of a mile to go if I wanted to get home, and now I hardly ever stop at the Park for a rest - don't need it. The struggles have been many, the joys have been few, but the main joy of being healthier far outweighs any issue, struggle, or obstacle that comes my way.

I should go now. Maybe I'll get some housework done.
Maybe.

Marriage Encounter

Paulette and I attended a Marriage Encounter this past weekend. For those who have never heard of M.E., it's a weekend of sessions matched with writing and dialogue with your spouse.
For me, it was a Friday evening through Sunday afternoon of "cutting to the nub, skin pealing, mental anguish, humble vulnerability". It tore me up so many time, and made me less of what I was.

And I will be forever thankful.

My weekend started with the 150 mile drive to the hotel where we would be attending the Encounter - and I would hate to go more than a few miles with Paulette, because within a few miles, she'd want us to talk, but wouldn't have something to talk about. Grrr.
We then attended the first couple of sessions and found ourselves agreeing on something - if the Weekend would give us a horrible headache. Writing, talking, writing, talking... we "knew" how to do all of that. What we were wasting our time for?

By the end of the first evening, we were talking a whole new language, understanding each other more, and finding an insight for each other that we had never experienced. On the second day, we were exposing our souls, opening ourselves up to our joys, pains, and feelings. By the third day, we were saying things that we would never say to each other - nice things - that was like a new and fresh dessert. As we were driving home, we were talking, laughing, and thinking of all of the people we know who could attend a Weekend. We were even thinking of how we would find ways of staying in contact with fellow classmates and presenters. In Encounter, these people that we would be in covenant with are called "flames", using the symbolism of so many things, such as the Spirit's guidance. Paulette and I even joked that many of the couples were older than us, so would it be ok to call these people "old flames"?

When Paulette left my house to go back to her place, we found ourselves counting the weeks and the days until we'd be together again. In the past, we sometimes couldn't wait until we got back on the road, but now, we're renewed.

One of the keys this Weekend was learning to communicate. There were so many things that Paulette and I were trying to say, but we just didn't know how to say it - how to express our own feelings and allow the other to express theirs. And once we got a grasp on that, everything else, no matter how major, was so much easier to talk about - as natural as breathing.
Granted, there is and will be times when we have to remind ourselves who to communicate. Even with breathing, we have those huffs and puffs when climbing hills, but the other side of the hill so all downward and simple and easy!

If you or someone you know is interested in a Marriage Encounter, just ask me. It's may be the toughest time that people, newly married or married 55 years, will ever enjoy!!
It's MORE THAN worth it!

Another look at the "good old days"

Paulette has told me many times that at certain times of my life, I had someone to hang out with, have a cup of coffee with, tells stories with, etc. What she meant was I've had people that I could do what I needed to do, say what I needed to say, be who I needed to be. Her point was that I was happier at those times (and I sometimes wonder if it's also her way of saying that it got me out of her hair for those moments. LOL)

The other night, I got a message from an old friend who was passing through. We spent some hours talking, laughing, telling stories, and so on (even about Coach K watching him play). By the end of the night, I was exhausted from the day, but I was relaxed, at ease, and happy that I got to see my friend.
Then I got a card from the family that I wrote about before - their first son was the first person I baptised. Seeing the family pictures and reading about how their kids are growing brought a great joy to me.
I baptised a young man on Easter Sunday, chatted with a young lady and her daughter who have started attending one of my churches, had the first Sunrise Service that my Parish has had in a long time, enjoyed great fellowship as a Mission-oriented Sunday School class served breakfast after the Sunrise Service...
...and the hits just keep on coming!

I'm amazed at how often people will find fault in things - their kids are living their own lives, the bills are piling up, the weather is different than it was six months ago, the crops are growing without the seed, so on and so on.

Maybe if some people spent more time counting their blessings instead of trying to "one up" others with their problems, we'd all be a lot happier, and people would want to "hang out" more.

SMILE!!!

Resurrection Recovery

I survived! I made it though another Lenten Season, Holy Week, and Easter, and this time, I didn't even have to dodge the "...or you'll be in the hospital" bullet. I made it through the Season with just about all of my hair in place. Whew!
To top it off, my Easter was one of the busiest that I can remember... In years past, I've had different things pop up during Holy Week that has thrown a wrench in the gears - even driving 250 miles after a Palm Sunday Service at two churches to meet with a church board elsewhere. But this year, my "stress" came from the extra joys this Easter morning. I did a baptism on a young man and him and his wife became members of one of the smaller of my churches. I also had a great Sunrise Service followed by a wonderful fellowship with breakfast supplied by an adult Sunday School class in the larger of my two churches that is focused on mission work.
And don't even get me started on the number of people in each Worship Services.

Over this next week, I need to continue in lots of work, and at the same time, prepare for a "working retreat". This is the part when I wonder how much "fun" my job/life is. But through it all, it's what I do, and from today, I'm finding more and more great joys.

Blessings!

Embracing the "sweet torture" of ministry

Megachurch Pastor Gardner C. Taylor was interviewed for the Summer 1981 of Leadership Journal (Christianity Today). In the article, Taylor talked of the insecurity of preaching the good Message.
I can identify with his words. More than not, I've preached the Message, proclaimed the Gospel, directed the masses, and then later wondered if anything made a difference. Did the people hear the calling? Did they feel the Spirit? Are they going to take the message to the streets?

Some of my wondering has been resolved when people come to me questioning something in their lives. As I've heard many times, if something is raised in your soul, examine it and do what needs to be done. I've even doubted the Message I gave immediately after preaching, only to have someone come to me, sometimes in tears, thanking me for what I preached. I have to admit that those times were followed by me scratching my head, wondering what happened, but then again, I'd hear the words to examine, so first, who am I to question the Spirit moving someone, and second, who am I to question the Spirit working through me, even if I'm not recognizing it at the time?

A group that I study with will be studying and reviewing the book "Ministry Is A High Calling: Aim Low". An excellent book that gives a humorous and sometimes direct look at the highs and lows of Pastoral ministry. Through my reading, I'll be blogging the chapters. I've read it once before, and it's worth the repeated reading as well as the extended reviewing of ministry.
One thing I remember from my first reading was that people are people, and I can only do what I can do. Anything more is the Spirit, and I can't make that move faster or slower. Things happen, and I should embrace it or let it go. (as I said in a recent Facebook post, I choose to embrace).

One thing I've learned to embrace are all of the high points. No matter how down my day or week is, there are tons of things that I can embrace.
The memories of why I have a buzzed/shaved head.
The prayers I've shared with people when their loved one as passed on.
The final moments I've spent with people before their passing.
And maybe one of my favorites, baptism.

I can't count the number of baptisms I've done, but I have a strong memory of just about all of them.
Baptizing a toddler on a Christmas Eve (and she was NOT happy that day)
Baptizing a man 14 hours before he passed away (and the honor of proclaiming that at his funeral)
Baptizing a child and later learning that the family had an inner-battle going on during the Worship Service (really? you couldn't leave it outside? Again, I can't control some people).
And the one that sticks with me the most - the first baptism.

The child's name is Logan. He now lives in Colorado, but at the time he lived in Kentucky. His parents, Tamara and Tim, were from an area in which I was a "central location" as well as the many friends that Tamara had from the area I served, so they asked me to do the baptism.

I remember how confused I first was. A family from Kentucky is wanting me to do a baptism. Odd? Different? Unusual? I wasn't sure what to think - I had only been a Pastor for a few months. But after getting all of the information from the family and making the arrangements that were necessary (because of the "faith family" that this family would have present... It's why I don't do "private baptisms"), we made it happen on September 11, 2004 (yes, I will also always remember the date).

The part that is most moving to me is that the family has kept in contact with me after all of these years. It's not like we were all close friends before all of this, and we were visiting each others homes afterwards... it's because Logan's baptism connected us.

Baptism connects people. Faith connects people. Love connects people. And what's better than good connections?
And for that, no "torture" moment can ever cloud over the "sweet" moments.

Thanks Logan, Tamara, and Tim, and the rest of your families.

You reap what you sow.

If some people simply stopped thinking that everyone owes them something and that they're never wrong, if they looked in a mirror at themselves, if they quit playing "two face" and deal with their issues, then the world might look brighter for them.

In the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", Dale Carnegie talks about how to live a great life. It must work - for decades, people have (and continue to) paid thousands of dollars to learn simple techniques to change a person's behavior by FIRST changing their own behavior.
Maybe this book should be a prerequisite to being an adult.
But some people would have to get past their own vanity to face their own demons.

A long day of reflection

It's suppose to be Spring, but I'm watching a light snow fall.
I should be in Ohio celebrating my sister's 25th Anniversary, but I'm finishing up my Palm Sunday Service and starting my prep for Holy Week.
I should be getting my exercise done, but my cough hasn't passed.
I should of had some sleep last night, but yesterday's events didn't allow for the most healthy day.
*     *     *     *     *     *     *
I could go on and on, but why? What does the complaining prove?

We all have things that bring us down, if we allow it. The bills are piling up, the weather has/hasn't changed. The kids are being brats. Dinner wasn't ready on time. Traffic was bad. Etc Etc.
We can also simply pay the bills as we can. We can take advantage of what the weather offers. We can play with the kids. We can make something else for dinner. We can turn up the car radio or take a different route.

Enjoy what you have. Enjoy every moment. Enjoy the grace and blessings.

Yeah, it's snowing outside... it's kinda pretty
Yeah, I'm missing my brother-in-law and sister's party, but I'm celebrating with them in spirit.
Yeah, I've got a nasty cough, but this gives me a good reason to put my feet up later.
Yeah, yesterday was tough, but I've made some great steps forward.

Smile.

A Preacher's life for me...

Over the past week, I've thought about what to blog next...
Then over this past weekend, a few conversations came up in reference to time management.

I had to chuckle because of the time of the year (Lent - very busy for preachers) and some recent changes that are about to take place for me (taking up some of my time).
This topic also rang a few bells because of the timing of Lent and Holy Week this year - of all times, my sister and brother-in-law are having their 25th Anniversary on March 26th, and one of my brothers is doing the planning for their party, which would be the Saturday before. I was hoping to go - even trying to figure out how to get to Ohio after teaching for that week, attending the reception, and then getting back as soon as I could. But on my best day, I wouldn't make it back by that Sunday, which happens to be Palm Sunday this year. Then, I had to make the phone call that I dreaded making-- calling my sister to let her know I couldn't make it. This was only made worse by me assuming that she would pass it along to my brother, and I know not to assume... so I had to also let my brother know.

Ever stub your toe twice in one night? That's about how I was feeling.

A colleague told me the other day how we, as Pastors, are often thought of as the "beckon call" people.. always having to be there for someone, regardless of our own lives.
And painfully, he's right.

I've learned, and am still learning, time management. It's an art of making sure that all of the responsibilities of all of my offices, etc, are taken care of, while still maintaining a space for myself. But as I'm about to have some changes occurring in my home and professional life, I'm also reminded of what a Bishop passed along to me when I asked her about her personal time...
She had recently gotten married, and a few years prior to that, I invited her to preach at a couple of my churches. When she had arrived in my office, I took her to a bed & breakfast where she would be staying. As I helped her with her bags, she carried in a large briefcase - large enough to need a long handle and wheels. That was going to be some "looking things over" before turning in. So I posed the question a few years later, "How are you managing time for your new spouse?" Her answer has rung in my mind ever since... She said that she does the work that needs to be done, and by a certain time each night, everything is put away and the rest of the time is devoted to her family.

There are still times that I may not be able to get away like I would hope for... Lent, Advent, ect. It comes with the job. But I'm glad that my brother and sister and her husband understand that. There are time that my emergency appointments take longer as planned sometimes. I'm glad that Dingo is still as caring (as long as I have the MilkBones nearby). There are times when I have to "get away" for a breather, and I'm glad that I have supervisory colleagues who support that.

But I'm a Pastor, and I do and go where God calls me.

Ode to John Wesley

Someone told me that I should use one of my blogs as a Sermon... Hmm, interesting.

John Wesley kept a detailed journal (for you youngsters, it was like a blog, expect he used something called "paper" and "pencil" or "ink"). Many of his thoughts and ideas are keypoints for lessons in ministry as well as practical life. It's also worth noting that Wesley's Sermons have been published for use today as they were used in his time for his ministers.

Will my blogs ever reach that level - doubt it!
Will my Sermons be something of history - not likely.

But what if...
The most popular name for a preacher's pet would be "Dingo".
People would start wearing sweats as "Burkhardt Day".
A buzzed head would be the look.
People would debate on what I was thinking in most of my blogs (that would be funny to watch!)
Buildings and towns would be called "Burkhardt" (oh wait, there is a Burkhardt Hall at Northeast Community College in Norfolk, NE, and there is a Burkhardt Historic District in Missouri as well as a Burkhardt, Wisconsin).

Then again, I could just wake up and smell the coffee. LOL

Finding the good in everything

First, a joke that my brother posted on his blog...

An American, a Canadian, a Mexican, a Cuban, a Nicaraguan, a Costa Rican, a Hatian, a Brazilian, a Bolivian, an Argentinian, a Fin, a Swede, a Norwegian, an Englishman, an Irishman, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, a German, a Pole, a Ukrainian, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Turk, a Libyan, an Algerian, an Ethiopian, an Israeli, an Egyptian, an Iraqi, an Iranian, an Afghan, an Indian, a Russian and a Korean walk in to a restaurant. The manager approaches them and says, "Sorry gentlemen. You can't be served here without a Thai."

 

That joke made me laugh out loud when I read it. And I needed a good laugh. Thanks Chris.

 

 

In the past 24 hours I've been blessed in many ways... blessed to be able to minister to an old friend who's hurting, blessed by being part of a great Ministerial Association in Pierce, blessed by meeting folks from all walks of life, blessed to have people who say what they feel.

 

That last one is a little twisted... because in my "line of work", I'm not like a weather forecaster. If I say how things should be, some people can get quite upset with me.

I wonder if the gal on my television station gets angry calls, letters, and visits when she talks about the horrible storms.

I wonder if the Weather Channel gets hate-mail because of a tornado.

I'm curious if the National Weather Service gets people who threaten to "pull their support" because of a 30% chance of rain.

 

At the same time, if the weather is great, I sometimes feel like I'm in the same boat as a forecaster. After all, when was the last time you called the weather person and said "thanks for the great day"?

 

Now before you get carried away with the "oh, he's sobbing"... no, I'm not. I'm joking. I'm chuckling. I'm even laughing my butt off because I know of a couple of people who are going to read this and not find any humor what-so-ever.

To them, "bless your hearts"...

 

Today someone walked up to me and thanked me for being the Pastor of their church. The other day, a couple of people commented on how my preaching has gotten better and better (although sometimes, I'm preaching from my "oldie but goodie" file... did I fall into a slump in between?)

 

I appreciate the positive comments. It's nice to hear something good in a day, in amongst all of the sad or painful news I deal with.

But I also wonder, such as in the case of my preaching, what will happen when I have a "down day"? If my preaching isn't up to par that week, will everything backfire? Or if I don't make it to the hospital to visit someone because of other visits, will it snap back at me?

 

Again, I appreciate the positives. I really do.

At the same times, are we keeping focused on the positives?

 

When we go somewhere - getting gas, buying groceries, seeing a show, visiting a friend - are we bring up the positives, or stuck on the negatives?

Do we mention how great the wait-staff was, or keep griping because the steak wasn't "perfect"?

Are we complaining because we don't get visits, or are we make ourselves more hospitable?

Can we say something nice, or are we too busy whining?

Have we tried to lend a hand to someone, WITHOUT expecting something in return, or are we too tied up with "they shoulda..."

 

Writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie wrote in one of his books about a man who would get his lunch from a waitress that felt down all of the time. The lunch reflected her attitude... stale, lacking, and cold. Finally, the man addressed the waitress by name one day and complimented her. After that, every time he'd come for lunch, the waitress had a smile on her face, and even tossed some extra chips on the man's plate.

Carnegie's concept is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's behavior toward them.

Granted, this doesn't always work... a person who is doing some consulting for and with me has tried and tried to make this work with a few people with little to no success. Is he doing something wrong? Does he not have the knack? I don't think it has anything to do with him... some people just can't change, no matter how greener the grass is on the other side.

 

But for those who are willing to try out that new meadow, things are sunnier, brighter, happier, and more exciting because of the opened opportunities to them.

 

Next time you get a chance, compliment someone, and do it honestly. Maybe something as simple as how their clothing looks, or how nice they were to open a door for you.

If you can't find anything nice to say, then as the saying goes, then don't say anything at all. This is not only for you, but for everyone else around you, because the more you gripe, the less people will want to hear from you. The more you complain, the less people will come around.

And I'm willing to bet that more people will be happier not being around a whiner, moaner, and complainer than getting dragged down in someones bad habit.

 

Now go out and give it a try... say something positive to a person, and watch what happens =)

Otherwise, you may look like this...

 

 

Cue the "Rocky" theme music...

This weekend, I realized that it had been a while since I went walking. Between the snow/ice on the uneven roads in this town, and the hectic scheduling of different year-end reports that are due, I allowed it to slip away.
Of course, I could have gotten around the excuses - and for that, I can only blame myself.
This morning, I decided to go weigh-in... the first time I had done that in two months. I was trying to catch up on stuff, and I usually weigh-in on my day off, and my time has been "rearranged" by some new events. Also, I only had to jump out of bed to go, and sleep has been a valuable commodity over the last few weeks.
Of course, I could have gotten around the excuses - and for that, I can only blame myself.

So the other day, I went on my walking route for the first time in a long time. The roads were mostly clear, but the weather was COLD. And when Dingo and I weren't getting snowed on, the frost from the trees was dropping on us. A nice "winter wonderland", if I am to find a positive =)
This morning, I weighed in for the first time in two months. I found that I had gained 3 or 4 pounds. ARG! But overall, my clothes are still fitting good and for many possibilities, I could have gained a lot more than that.

I can go back and forth on everything... I started running on my walk this past weekend, and I set a great time for myself for the route. And now I have shin-splits. I have been watching what I'm eating a lot better and easier. But I have to be better at tracking my meals.

One thing I've learned in the past 10 months is that everything is about ATTITUDE. When I have a positive attitude, things go great, even if I didn't make a goal. When I have a negative attitude, I'm losing battles, no matter how well I try.

How can we apply this to every day life?
First, people can stop complaining. Seriously, just stop. For every complaint I've seen or heard, I can point out a few "worse" things so easily. So face the fact that you don't have it so bad.
Second, people can stop complaining. Just quit complaining. There ARE positives, and if you're bickering about "how bad" you have it, you'll miss the great things.
Third, people can stop complaining. Enough already. Did you ever read the story about the boy who cried wolf? Some people think it's just about false alarms, but overall, it tells you that the more you squawk, the more people will tune you out, or maybe just avoid the negativity. Listen to yourself and think of how many people you can irritate with your words. Then compare that to how many people don't seem to come around any more.
Finally, start every day with a positive. Be happy at something. Laugh at something. Hug someone. Make a good breakfast. Enjoy nature. Enjoy the sound of kids playing. Call an old friend, or better yet, call a foe and reconcile.

Face it, the negativity gets you no where.

People don't visit? The road is the same distance in both directions.
People talking trash about you? Is it true, and if so, how can you better yourself?  If it's not true, does it really matter what they say? They can't take your air away from you. Breath and move on.
People whining too much? Lift the positives - They can't take that away from you.
People on your case? Tell them to back off. If you're a grown-up, you have that ability. If they don't like it, then oh well.

Being positive is like having a strong rope pulling you up when you're trying to climb a cliff. The struggles might seem hard, and the anxiety can be overwhelming, but having that tug along the way give you the power to make it.

Have a great day!