Christmas for the young and young-at-heart.

As I walked into one of my Christmas Eve Candlelight Services, I noticed at least a dozen or so children in the congregation. Some faces were familiar; some were visitors - new or repeat. As I went into my office to put on my alb and prepare my notes, I thought of a Kids’ Christmas Message that I had seen, and thought “why not – these kids are gotta lose it after the third ‘angelic’ and fifth ‘manger’.” And the direction of the Christmas Eve Message was about Jesus being born in a world of Have-Nots, so I’m guess that visions of sugarplums, reindeer, and mountains of wrapping paper would be more interesting to these kids. Can’t blame them – at that age, my mind was on bikes, transistor radios, and Viewmasters.

 

Anyhow… I started the Service and gave some introductory instructions (what to expect, where to find the restrooms, if anyone needs help, etc), and just as I was wrapping up, a little girl stands up on a pew towards the back and shouts for my attention.

Well, who am I to ignore a child in church?

So I said “Hi”, to which I got a “Hi” in return.

“Do you want to sing a song?” I then asked.

“Yeah!” was the quick response.
Well, then a song it was – so we proceeded with the Opening Hymn. After all, she wanted to sing, and who am I to ignore a child in church?

When I took the opportunity to give the Kids’ Message, the same little girl was very attentive. By that, I mean that if I asked a question that got a loud response, she would come up to me to answer. Or show-off her cute outfit. Or just show-off how cute she was.

Hard to say because by this point, she scored in all areas.

Then came the end of Kids’ Time… The point when the preacher prays with the kids and they go sit down with their parents, or one would think.
Nope, not when Miss Cutie isn’t done taking center stage. She wasn’t ready to go. She wanted to stay up front. Even when her cousin tried to walk her back with no luck, choosing to shout down the aisle “she won’t come!”… what’s a pastor to do?

I walked up to her and tried to sweet-talk her with the thoughts of singing again. After all, we were getting ready to sing another hymn.

Well, that worked! Yep, she’ll get up off the floor for another song. Yep, right back to the chancel steps.

Well why not! I offered her an opportunity, and Miss Cutie took it. So I went over and set down on the step next to her, asked the congregation to turn to the next hymn, and we started singing, and I looked down at Miss Cutie and she’s looking up at me as I’m serenading her with “O Little Town of Bethlehem”. Only after I could convince her that her aunt is a much better singer did Miss Cutie give up the sounds of choking cats to the sweeter tunes of her family’s vocals. 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The point is that Christmas isn’t about the hype and glamour.

It’s about the simple and humble. It’s about the little ones – the young and young at heart. It’s about seeing things through the eyes of a child. It’s about not being so serious about the simple things in life.

 

Little Miss Cutie was having a good time at the Christmas Eve Service, and so was everyone else. We all enjoyed her laughter, her smiles, and her conversations with me. The only regret of the evening was that no one had their cameras or smart-phones handy.

Any other time, we’d have dozens of pictures floating on social media before the end of the Service.

Let’s look at life with a youthful heart, along with the laughter, smiles, and giggles it brings -- not just at Christmastime, but all year long.

MERRY Christmas!!

"Christmas Cards"

I've noticed that I don't send as many Christmas cards as I once did. Or should I say that I haven't sent any cards this year. I'm not a Scrooge (I think). I haven't lost the Holiday Spirit (I hope). I have somehow not made cards a priority.

At one time, cards were a big thing for me. I was finding the right card for each member of my family, and then buying two or three different sets so that I had a variety of cards to choose from. But then as I started working with more and more people, I ran into an issue of who to give a card to directly, and who gets the "general office card". Finally, when I became a pastor, well, to write dozens on top of dozens of cards, or give a Greeting in a newsletter or bulletin, or state it in a special Christmas edition of the newspapers. I've learned that no matter what I do, someone along the way wasn't going to be happy, and until recently have I learned to be ok with that (I can't please everyone).

But today I recalled how my brother has found time to bake treats, run, work, and cover extra shifts, and yet I can't seem to find the time to sleep. Why? Am I burning out? Am I tired? Am I focusing too much on the "work" of the Holiday and not the reason for the Holiday (not "practicing what I preach" - literally)?

Admittedly, time management is not one of my gifts. So now that I've managed to find some time, I want offer an apology, ask for forgiveness, wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas, and extend to you my Christmas card featuring my granddaughters and me. CLICK HERE

Blessings to you and yours!!

Either side of the fence has the other side, and to sit in the middle is painful.

I'm not much for news. To be honest, I'm tired of it.
Granted, the news has a purpose, and when done right, it is a great service, but when I see a person hound someone to get the answer the person wants to tilt the scales, or when someone is misquoted in the media (especially "off the record" is printed and THAT is even misquoted - yeah, been there, done that), I've realized that too much brain energy is spent on discerning what's true or not as opposed to where the need for love and compassion is at.

But then comes the lefts and rights. The this-sides and that-sides. The our-way and their-way. Even people who will state the "open option" (whether your this or that) and then tell you how to think.

Seriously?
No one can think for themselves anymore?
As a society, we're so messed up that we need someone to think for us? And who is the best person for that - you? me? the Fox News or CNN reporter? the blogger with 1500 hits?

As the title of this blog says, you are on your side of the fence, and there are two sides of a fence. Face it, there is. And don't trust me - I don't work for a cable news service. Go look for yourself.
But when you try to stay in the middle (hear both sides, be in a conversation with everyone), it's painful (when checking that fence, straddle it, and see if it doesn't hurt!). But that's the cross we bear sometimes (yeah, a little phrase from my own occupation). But if we don't hear another side, we won't understand anything in the first place. We're nothing more than a bunch of robots who will bounce ourselves against the walls until our batteries run down.

The other day, someone mentioned that they called a plumber to clear a drain, based on the information that "the toilet was hopelessly clogged". The plumber showed up, grabbed a plunger, and after a few tries, opened the drain.
Fifty dollars for something the guy could have done himself. No, he wasn't happy.
But like he said, had he thought for himself instead of giving into some hype, the issue would have been resolved a lot quicker and cheaper.
(And truth-be-told, I gave into some of the same hype!)

We can all think for ourselves, but we can also listen to others to gain an understanding. It doesn't mean that we have to change our minds, but we can share some love and compassion. We can stop slinging ugly and hateful speech. We can stop shutting people down. We can allow people to be who or what they are or what they think, just as we would want to be who we are or be allowed to think a certain way.

If we can't get along, where will that lead us?

Blessed are the meek

I've said it before, and as much as I dislike repeating myself, I'll say it again - my blogs are my opinions, viewpoints, etc. After all, that's what a blog is.

This time of year can be stressful for me. There are some end-of-the-year items to take care of around my office, as well as getting the Sunday and other worship services put together. That being said, "Murphy" tends to show up a lot - you know, Murphy's Law... so at some point, something will happen, and so far, "Murphy" has even found a way into every aspect of my day AND night life.

In a recent meeting with a couple of ladies, as we were discussing some plans for the upcoming year, one of them commented about the various issues I probably encounter in any given day. Unfortunately, I didn't have my volumes of notes to go over what had happened in the previous hours, but we also didn't have the time either. LOL

Even though Christmas is about giving, love, caring, and humility, remembering that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the Christ-child, this time of year seems to bring out a side of people that often times can't be explained. Grouchy, irritable, tired, worn out... you name it, it's there.

But why are we worn out? Why are we grouchy? Why are we tired? Why are we irritable?
Is it because someone doesn't want to have a Merry Christmas? That's their issue - pray for them.
Is it because someone doesn't like someone else and wants to take it out on you? Let them deal with their issues. And pray for them.
Is it because they have other issues happening in their life? Be compassionate and understanding and pray for them.

All too often we let the rush of the world blind us from the some important things in life that we should be concerned with
...The guy might look grumpy, but he just got bad news about his family.
...The lady might have rushed out of a meeting and not said anything, but maybe she had only a few minutes to be with a loved one.
...The family doesn't say much, but maybe they've been judged harshly sometime in the past.

Sometimes it's the little things in life that make the greatest impact. Cherish them. Value them. Appreciate them.

a Christmas memory

A Christmas memory of mine is of how we, as a family, would go out to my grandparents homes. By that, I mean that we would go to one grandparent's house and another, sometimes back and forth. They lived about eleven miles apart, so it was somewhat simple. At the time, it might have seemed a little odd for me, but as I'm making my own plans, I'm juggling schedules with my daughter-in-law and her family plans as well. Now I'm understanding the whole back and forth thing.

The two southwest Ohio Christmases were different - my mom was an only-child, so it was just the four of us kids - we could all sit around one large table to eat, and I still remember Santa Claus showing up when we were opening our gifts. My dad was the oldest of six, and so the adults would be in one room while the kids would go in another room. All of the family was still together at key points though - we just went in different rooms because when you have so many children playing under the feet of a dozen adults, someone could get their fingers stepped on.

A big difference compared to today is how as kids, we were playing with toy cars and trucks and stuff. The neatest electronic toy of the day might have been some handheld football game that showed dots on a screen.
Nowadays it's whatever "i" or "droid" that can gig and boot.

The talk of the day (that I remember) was what else Santa brought us.
Now it's whatever news - rumored, maybe true, or true - is on the internet.

Dinner was all homemade. My Grandma Burkhardt would make Chex-Mix before someone did the wrong thing by bagging it, which is (in my opinion) no where close to the same.
Now I'm listening to everyone talk about how busy they are to cook (side note - my brother works, covers overtimes, runs over an hour every day, and can find time to bake dozens of cookies each night. Sorry, no sympathy here).

What if we went back to a simpler time? What if we put away the electronics and turned off the media devices and cell phones? What if we set down with our friends and loved ones for Christmas?
What would Christmas be like?

Do I smile? Do you?

There is a running joke with some people about whether or not I smile. Some say that I don't. Some say that I'm always grumpy. Some will say "that IS his smile".

The truth is that yes, I smile. I even laugh. I've even been known to laugh uncontrollably.

But there is also a truth that is the "unnamed" response. I've blogged about it before, and if you follow me on social media, you may have even seen some posts that I've shared that have talked about this "unnamed" issue.

I'm not sure why it's unnamed. Maybe it's because pastors/clergy/ministers/priests are "professional". We stand at a pulpit and preach a Message of love and grace. We give a eulogy when one of our flock as passed. We comfort the hurting in their times of need. We visit the sick and injured when they're laid up.
And we listen to the issues of the day - the light bulb wasn't replaced from yesterday. The grass is 1/4 inch too high. The flowers in the Narthex aren't quite right. The Message we preached wasn't nice. We're over on the mileage budget. We're not visiting enough. The coffee pot was 2 inches to the left during Fellowship. The cookies were too big. The weather is too cold or hot.
... And that's while we're working on the next Service - planning the Litany, Congregational Prayers, hymns, and researching, planning, and writing a Message. And that's as long as there are not interruptions from any of the above. Toss in any issues, and the "workday" has at least tripled when you figured travel time.

So do I smile? Yes. But I have other emotions as well.
For example, I cry.
This morning, I cry for the little boy who has struggled and fought (more than I could!) for a year with a transplant, only to have it removed later. (side note: the removal will help him to be better, but this kid has been such a trooper for over a year - including staying in a hospital this entire time - only to have another surgery. I don't think anyone can have that kind of strength).
I cry for those who are struggling. So many things to worry about, but the truth is that there is hope. But when struggling, I also understand that it takes a little extra work to be calm.

And I cry for many other reasons, including my own. There is an unwritten rule that shepherds can't have emotions, that we have to "keep it together". But I'll let you in on something - ever since the song "Pass It On" was used at a funeral at my first parish, I can't sing it without getting choked up. I can't sing "Let There Be Peace On Earth" without shedding a tear. And I get emotional when people get ugly at others.

Maybe the key is to have more peace. More peace towards one another. Then we can see what troubles and issues others are having, even while we're going through our issues. Maybe we can extend love and understanding to each other.
Maybe we can all smile.

Tis the Season

I have to admit that I've grown to be a little bit of a cynic. Maybe I'm becoming the Grinch. Could it be that my heart has become two sizes too small?

I've wondered about this year after year with no success. Or am I over thinking this? After all, I've celebrated Christmas year after year. I have. I've thought about it as I've written Advent and Christmas Eve Messages, consoled the lost and mourning at this time of year, and searched for the few spare minutes to get some resemblance of a Christmas tree put up in my living room.

OK - I'm a little, or a lot, sarcastic. But in a way, I've found myself working more instead of absorbing the joys that I've been so accustom to this time of year. Some of this is because of my life (job), and some of it is the "side stuff" while trying to relax.
No, I'm not going to try to explain it - I've got docs and shrinks on speed-dial for that. And I think that have their own shrinks on speed-dial after dealing with me. Can't blame them.

My brother enjoys this time of year. I think he transforms his entire living room, and in his blog, he talks about the smell of a live tree and fresh baked cookies. But as I read it, I couldn't recall those scents. I remember my mom working in the kitchen for what seemed like days making all kinds of cookies, and I remember that we had live Christmas trees when I was a kid (which at the time, drove me nuts because we had to pick those needles out of the carpet).
Then as I was picking up a few things at the local grocery store this afternoon, I caught a whiff of the fresh wreaths for sale. Pine wreaths. And the memories came back like a rush of warm air on a cold day.
And when I came home, I watch a video of a airline that did a special promo Christmas surprise for some of their customers. It made me think back to the times when I played Santa Claus - the many times. And most of all, I recalled a time when I was Santa for a special group of kids who were in a  group home because of abuse or neglect, and the gifts that Santa gave them that day were possibly the only gifts they'd get.

I preach about what the Season is about, but in the rush of the world, this is one of the busy-times. At Christmastime, when families are together worshiping, or gathering together around the dinner table, or traveling to be with loved ones afar, I've been behind the pulpit, or getting a meal at a friend's church on the way to see someone in the hospital, or making plans for the next worship service.

No, I'm not doing a "pity me" thing - I'm realizing that I need to open my eyes.

So after I preach at my two churches on Christmas Eve, I'm taking a break. I'm going to enjoy life. I'm going to catch up on lost time with my granddaughters. I'm going to find that smile again. (Yeah, I really do "smile" sometimes). I'm going to go do something and have fun doing it.

Life is not about what we get or give. It's about what's in the heart... The memories, the joy. The peace. The hope. The love.
... and I think my Grinch-heart just grew three sizes.

The darkness of death or the light of life?

As I mentioned in my previous post and in a few Facebook comments, I've spent the past few days learning a lot not so much through the continuing education classes I'm in (although I am learning a lot in those), but from my friends. I would say colleagues, but I can also call these people friends, and I would be remiss if I didn't.

One of the conversations we had was how we dealt with funerals or memorial services. If I understood correctly, another pastor felt that there was too much emphasis on talking about the person and not about the resurrection of Christ. Some might separate the two topics as Message and Eulogy.

When I looked up the definition of "funeral", the word "ceremony" kept coming up, as well as a time of remembering a person.
So I took the hint of a couple of my friends as well as the words I say each time - that we are there to "celebrate the life" of a person. But I also preach the gospel, meaning the Good News, of Jesus Christ, and how he died and rose again to take the sting of death away. For that, we have the promise of hope.

I used those words as I met with a family earlier today, and something happened - something that I don't think has ever quite happened in my 9+ years of pastoral ministry. Call it the Holy Spirit.
When I explained the Service and purpose of the Service, the family began to weep, remembering their loved one, but then opened up more than I have ever seen, and we had a grand time talking about their fun and fond memories.

We mourn loss - even pastors mourn. But we also celebrate the life. And we celebrate the hope and grace given to us - a gift, given to each and every one of us, without a price.

Celebrate.

Verbal ..., Spoken ..., Communicated ...,

As in many occupations, as a United Methodist pastor, I'm required to do continuing education. Currently I'm taking a Preaching class with about 60 or 70 other pastors around Nebraska and Kansas, a few as new as I am (if you can call 9+ years "new") and some who have been preaching for over 20 years, taught by two professors from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas (Thank God for web conferencing, when it works well). I'm also in a Pastoral Effectiveness class that uses Systems Theory by Boden from the 50s or so and translates it into church and pastoral ministry through the teachings of Rabbi Edwin Friedman.
An easier way to say all of might be that I'm learning where to draw lines and bettering my skills.

For me, one of the best part of continuing education is the opportunity to come together with my friends and colleagues from around the region. We get to share our joys and concerns. We get to share ideas how dealing with issues. We get to pull out the pictures of the kids and grandkids. We get to lift up the highs and vent about the lows.

My latest trip was one of my best, not necessary because of class sessions, but because of the trip. I had the pleasure of carpooling with a couple of colleagues and the opportunity to talk about things from new paint on the walls to new ideas in ministry to safely chatting about the news locally, regionally, and nationally. There was even an opportunity for me as I learned a new phrase that had been coined by someone else, although there may have been some agreement to try something different.

The trip back home took two hours (for all of us together), and as my friends were conversing about one of the subjects, I was able to quietly reflect and give thanks that I had that opportunity to be with those people there, and the people early that day in the class. I was thankful for the person in class who chatted with me about something that had happened in my life, and while I felt remorse in how was dealing with it, her concern was how I was feeling and doing and how life was going for me.  I was thankful for the support of the colleagues that I was in class with and that we are supportive of each others ministry, even standing firm on how we all have different styles of worship and preaching styles. I'm thankful for the ministry and hospitality of those who make our stays comfortable and pleasing when I'm at my continuing ed classes.

Now that it's just Dingo and me in the house, life is different again, and to vent, chat, talk, whatever is different - Dingo just looks at me. But if I ask Dingo for her advice, she usually just gets one of her chew toys and expects to be scratched. No help.

But I'm thankful for those who allow me to be me and who allow themselves to be themselves. Yes, we are pastors, but first, we're human.
... And there is joy watching someone get excited about an empty frame or a painted wall =)

The tale of two clubs

Once upon a time there was a person who visited a club. This person already knew the area, and knew the leader. This person wasn't looking for anything special, but what happened was surprising.
After visiting the club, this person got a letter from the club, which could be because of a "system" that has been in place for years by the club, not the leader, for this practice has been in place in the history of at least a few leaders. And again, this person already knew the leader.
This person also received a small gift from the club with a note. Again, a practice that has been in place for years.

This person also visited another club, although the situation was a little different. The other club had a situation that needed the assistance of many people, and this person jumped in and helped. This person helped the club, although only a few of the club members were there to work. While those of the club had some who are unable to do some tasks, and other would have showed up to their clubhouse unprepared, no one went to this particular person to say thanks, or to help out, or to offer a cup of coffee. While some might say that this person could have gone in where a reception was being held to get a cup of coffee and then some might have said thank you, would this person have felt welcome?

Some club members have offered reasons or explanations, but this person has already been in clubs that have had older, worn out, few club members.

Which club would this person want to be a part of and why?