The truth is that yes, I smile. I even laugh. I've even been known to laugh uncontrollably.
But there is also a truth that is the "unnamed" response. I've blogged about it before, and if you follow me on social media, you may have even seen some posts that I've shared that have talked about this "unnamed" issue.
I'm not sure why it's unnamed. Maybe it's because pastors/clergy/ministers/priests are "professional". We stand at a pulpit and preach a Message of love and grace. We give a eulogy when one of our flock as passed. We comfort the hurting in their times of need. We visit the sick and injured when they're laid up.
And we listen to the issues of the day - the light bulb wasn't replaced from yesterday. The grass is 1/4 inch too high. The flowers in the Narthex aren't quite right. The Message we preached wasn't nice. We're over on the mileage budget. We're not visiting enough. The coffee pot was 2 inches to the left during Fellowship. The cookies were too big. The weather is too cold or hot.
... And that's while we're working on the next Service - planning the Litany, Congregational Prayers, hymns, and researching, planning, and writing a Message. And that's as long as there are not interruptions from any of the above. Toss in any issues, and the "workday" has at least tripled when you figured travel time.
So do I smile? Yes. But I have other emotions as well.
For example, I cry.
This morning, I cry for the little boy who has struggled and fought (more than I could!) for a year with a transplant, only to have it removed later. (side note: the removal will help him to be better, but this kid has been such a trooper for over a year - including staying in a hospital this entire time - only to have another surgery. I don't think anyone can have that kind of strength).
I cry for those who are struggling. So many things to worry about, but the truth is that there is hope. But when struggling, I also understand that it takes a little extra work to be calm.
And I cry for many other reasons, including my own. There is an unwritten rule that shepherds can't have emotions, that we have to "keep it together". But I'll let you in on something - ever since the song "Pass It On" was used at a funeral at my first parish, I can't sing it without getting choked up. I can't sing "Let There Be Peace On Earth" without shedding a tear. And I get emotional when people get ugly at others.
Maybe the key is to have more peace. More peace towards one another. Then we can see what troubles and issues others are having, even while we're going through our issues. Maybe we can extend love and understanding to each other.
Maybe we can all smile.
