Embracing the "sweet torture" of ministry

Megachurch Pastor Gardner C. Taylor was interviewed for the Summer 1981 of Leadership Journal (Christianity Today). In the article, Taylor talked of the insecurity of preaching the good Message.
I can identify with his words. More than not, I've preached the Message, proclaimed the Gospel, directed the masses, and then later wondered if anything made a difference. Did the people hear the calling? Did they feel the Spirit? Are they going to take the message to the streets?

Some of my wondering has been resolved when people come to me questioning something in their lives. As I've heard many times, if something is raised in your soul, examine it and do what needs to be done. I've even doubted the Message I gave immediately after preaching, only to have someone come to me, sometimes in tears, thanking me for what I preached. I have to admit that those times were followed by me scratching my head, wondering what happened, but then again, I'd hear the words to examine, so first, who am I to question the Spirit moving someone, and second, who am I to question the Spirit working through me, even if I'm not recognizing it at the time?

A group that I study with will be studying and reviewing the book "Ministry Is A High Calling: Aim Low". An excellent book that gives a humorous and sometimes direct look at the highs and lows of Pastoral ministry. Through my reading, I'll be blogging the chapters. I've read it once before, and it's worth the repeated reading as well as the extended reviewing of ministry.
One thing I remember from my first reading was that people are people, and I can only do what I can do. Anything more is the Spirit, and I can't make that move faster or slower. Things happen, and I should embrace it or let it go. (as I said in a recent Facebook post, I choose to embrace).

One thing I've learned to embrace are all of the high points. No matter how down my day or week is, there are tons of things that I can embrace.
The memories of why I have a buzzed/shaved head.
The prayers I've shared with people when their loved one as passed on.
The final moments I've spent with people before their passing.
And maybe one of my favorites, baptism.

I can't count the number of baptisms I've done, but I have a strong memory of just about all of them.
Baptizing a toddler on a Christmas Eve (and she was NOT happy that day)
Baptizing a man 14 hours before he passed away (and the honor of proclaiming that at his funeral)
Baptizing a child and later learning that the family had an inner-battle going on during the Worship Service (really? you couldn't leave it outside? Again, I can't control some people).
And the one that sticks with me the most - the first baptism.

The child's name is Logan. He now lives in Colorado, but at the time he lived in Kentucky. His parents, Tamara and Tim, were from an area in which I was a "central location" as well as the many friends that Tamara had from the area I served, so they asked me to do the baptism.

I remember how confused I first was. A family from Kentucky is wanting me to do a baptism. Odd? Different? Unusual? I wasn't sure what to think - I had only been a Pastor for a few months. But after getting all of the information from the family and making the arrangements that were necessary (because of the "faith family" that this family would have present... It's why I don't do "private baptisms"), we made it happen on September 11, 2004 (yes, I will also always remember the date).

The part that is most moving to me is that the family has kept in contact with me after all of these years. It's not like we were all close friends before all of this, and we were visiting each others homes afterwards... it's because Logan's baptism connected us.

Baptism connects people. Faith connects people. Love connects people. And what's better than good connections?
And for that, no "torture" moment can ever cloud over the "sweet" moments.

Thanks Logan, Tamara, and Tim, and the rest of your families.

You reap what you sow.

If some people simply stopped thinking that everyone owes them something and that they're never wrong, if they looked in a mirror at themselves, if they quit playing "two face" and deal with their issues, then the world might look brighter for them.

In the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", Dale Carnegie talks about how to live a great life. It must work - for decades, people have (and continue to) paid thousands of dollars to learn simple techniques to change a person's behavior by FIRST changing their own behavior.
Maybe this book should be a prerequisite to being an adult.
But some people would have to get past their own vanity to face their own demons.

A long day of reflection

It's suppose to be Spring, but I'm watching a light snow fall.
I should be in Ohio celebrating my sister's 25th Anniversary, but I'm finishing up my Palm Sunday Service and starting my prep for Holy Week.
I should be getting my exercise done, but my cough hasn't passed.
I should of had some sleep last night, but yesterday's events didn't allow for the most healthy day.
*     *     *     *     *     *     *
I could go on and on, but why? What does the complaining prove?

We all have things that bring us down, if we allow it. The bills are piling up, the weather has/hasn't changed. The kids are being brats. Dinner wasn't ready on time. Traffic was bad. Etc Etc.
We can also simply pay the bills as we can. We can take advantage of what the weather offers. We can play with the kids. We can make something else for dinner. We can turn up the car radio or take a different route.

Enjoy what you have. Enjoy every moment. Enjoy the grace and blessings.

Yeah, it's snowing outside... it's kinda pretty
Yeah, I'm missing my brother-in-law and sister's party, but I'm celebrating with them in spirit.
Yeah, I've got a nasty cough, but this gives me a good reason to put my feet up later.
Yeah, yesterday was tough, but I've made some great steps forward.

Smile.

A Preacher's life for me...

Over the past week, I've thought about what to blog next...
Then over this past weekend, a few conversations came up in reference to time management.

I had to chuckle because of the time of the year (Lent - very busy for preachers) and some recent changes that are about to take place for me (taking up some of my time).
This topic also rang a few bells because of the timing of Lent and Holy Week this year - of all times, my sister and brother-in-law are having their 25th Anniversary on March 26th, and one of my brothers is doing the planning for their party, which would be the Saturday before. I was hoping to go - even trying to figure out how to get to Ohio after teaching for that week, attending the reception, and then getting back as soon as I could. But on my best day, I wouldn't make it back by that Sunday, which happens to be Palm Sunday this year. Then, I had to make the phone call that I dreaded making-- calling my sister to let her know I couldn't make it. This was only made worse by me assuming that she would pass it along to my brother, and I know not to assume... so I had to also let my brother know.

Ever stub your toe twice in one night? That's about how I was feeling.

A colleague told me the other day how we, as Pastors, are often thought of as the "beckon call" people.. always having to be there for someone, regardless of our own lives.
And painfully, he's right.

I've learned, and am still learning, time management. It's an art of making sure that all of the responsibilities of all of my offices, etc, are taken care of, while still maintaining a space for myself. But as I'm about to have some changes occurring in my home and professional life, I'm also reminded of what a Bishop passed along to me when I asked her about her personal time...
She had recently gotten married, and a few years prior to that, I invited her to preach at a couple of my churches. When she had arrived in my office, I took her to a bed & breakfast where she would be staying. As I helped her with her bags, she carried in a large briefcase - large enough to need a long handle and wheels. That was going to be some "looking things over" before turning in. So I posed the question a few years later, "How are you managing time for your new spouse?" Her answer has rung in my mind ever since... She said that she does the work that needs to be done, and by a certain time each night, everything is put away and the rest of the time is devoted to her family.

There are still times that I may not be able to get away like I would hope for... Lent, Advent, ect. It comes with the job. But I'm glad that my brother and sister and her husband understand that. There are time that my emergency appointments take longer as planned sometimes. I'm glad that Dingo is still as caring (as long as I have the MilkBones nearby). There are times when I have to "get away" for a breather, and I'm glad that I have supervisory colleagues who support that.

But I'm a Pastor, and I do and go where God calls me.

Ode to John Wesley

Someone told me that I should use one of my blogs as a Sermon... Hmm, interesting.

John Wesley kept a detailed journal (for you youngsters, it was like a blog, expect he used something called "paper" and "pencil" or "ink"). Many of his thoughts and ideas are keypoints for lessons in ministry as well as practical life. It's also worth noting that Wesley's Sermons have been published for use today as they were used in his time for his ministers.

Will my blogs ever reach that level - doubt it!
Will my Sermons be something of history - not likely.

But what if...
The most popular name for a preacher's pet would be "Dingo".
People would start wearing sweats as "Burkhardt Day".
A buzzed head would be the look.
People would debate on what I was thinking in most of my blogs (that would be funny to watch!)
Buildings and towns would be called "Burkhardt" (oh wait, there is a Burkhardt Hall at Northeast Community College in Norfolk, NE, and there is a Burkhardt Historic District in Missouri as well as a Burkhardt, Wisconsin).

Then again, I could just wake up and smell the coffee. LOL

Finding the good in everything

First, a joke that my brother posted on his blog...

An American, a Canadian, a Mexican, a Cuban, a Nicaraguan, a Costa Rican, a Hatian, a Brazilian, a Bolivian, an Argentinian, a Fin, a Swede, a Norwegian, an Englishman, an Irishman, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, a German, a Pole, a Ukrainian, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Turk, a Libyan, an Algerian, an Ethiopian, an Israeli, an Egyptian, an Iraqi, an Iranian, an Afghan, an Indian, a Russian and a Korean walk in to a restaurant. The manager approaches them and says, "Sorry gentlemen. You can't be served here without a Thai."

 

That joke made me laugh out loud when I read it. And I needed a good laugh. Thanks Chris.

 

 

In the past 24 hours I've been blessed in many ways... blessed to be able to minister to an old friend who's hurting, blessed by being part of a great Ministerial Association in Pierce, blessed by meeting folks from all walks of life, blessed to have people who say what they feel.

 

That last one is a little twisted... because in my "line of work", I'm not like a weather forecaster. If I say how things should be, some people can get quite upset with me.

I wonder if the gal on my television station gets angry calls, letters, and visits when she talks about the horrible storms.

I wonder if the Weather Channel gets hate-mail because of a tornado.

I'm curious if the National Weather Service gets people who threaten to "pull their support" because of a 30% chance of rain.

 

At the same time, if the weather is great, I sometimes feel like I'm in the same boat as a forecaster. After all, when was the last time you called the weather person and said "thanks for the great day"?

 

Now before you get carried away with the "oh, he's sobbing"... no, I'm not. I'm joking. I'm chuckling. I'm even laughing my butt off because I know of a couple of people who are going to read this and not find any humor what-so-ever.

To them, "bless your hearts"...

 

Today someone walked up to me and thanked me for being the Pastor of their church. The other day, a couple of people commented on how my preaching has gotten better and better (although sometimes, I'm preaching from my "oldie but goodie" file... did I fall into a slump in between?)

 

I appreciate the positive comments. It's nice to hear something good in a day, in amongst all of the sad or painful news I deal with.

But I also wonder, such as in the case of my preaching, what will happen when I have a "down day"? If my preaching isn't up to par that week, will everything backfire? Or if I don't make it to the hospital to visit someone because of other visits, will it snap back at me?

 

Again, I appreciate the positives. I really do.

At the same times, are we keeping focused on the positives?

 

When we go somewhere - getting gas, buying groceries, seeing a show, visiting a friend - are we bring up the positives, or stuck on the negatives?

Do we mention how great the wait-staff was, or keep griping because the steak wasn't "perfect"?

Are we complaining because we don't get visits, or are we make ourselves more hospitable?

Can we say something nice, or are we too busy whining?

Have we tried to lend a hand to someone, WITHOUT expecting something in return, or are we too tied up with "they shoulda..."

 

Writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie wrote in one of his books about a man who would get his lunch from a waitress that felt down all of the time. The lunch reflected her attitude... stale, lacking, and cold. Finally, the man addressed the waitress by name one day and complimented her. After that, every time he'd come for lunch, the waitress had a smile on her face, and even tossed some extra chips on the man's plate.

Carnegie's concept is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's behavior toward them.

Granted, this doesn't always work... a person who is doing some consulting for and with me has tried and tried to make this work with a few people with little to no success. Is he doing something wrong? Does he not have the knack? I don't think it has anything to do with him... some people just can't change, no matter how greener the grass is on the other side.

 

But for those who are willing to try out that new meadow, things are sunnier, brighter, happier, and more exciting because of the opened opportunities to them.

 

Next time you get a chance, compliment someone, and do it honestly. Maybe something as simple as how their clothing looks, or how nice they were to open a door for you.

If you can't find anything nice to say, then as the saying goes, then don't say anything at all. This is not only for you, but for everyone else around you, because the more you gripe, the less people will want to hear from you. The more you complain, the less people will come around.

And I'm willing to bet that more people will be happier not being around a whiner, moaner, and complainer than getting dragged down in someones bad habit.

 

Now go out and give it a try... say something positive to a person, and watch what happens =)

Otherwise, you may look like this...

 

 

Cue the "Rocky" theme music...

This weekend, I realized that it had been a while since I went walking. Between the snow/ice on the uneven roads in this town, and the hectic scheduling of different year-end reports that are due, I allowed it to slip away.
Of course, I could have gotten around the excuses - and for that, I can only blame myself.
This morning, I decided to go weigh-in... the first time I had done that in two months. I was trying to catch up on stuff, and I usually weigh-in on my day off, and my time has been "rearranged" by some new events. Also, I only had to jump out of bed to go, and sleep has been a valuable commodity over the last few weeks.
Of course, I could have gotten around the excuses - and for that, I can only blame myself.

So the other day, I went on my walking route for the first time in a long time. The roads were mostly clear, but the weather was COLD. And when Dingo and I weren't getting snowed on, the frost from the trees was dropping on us. A nice "winter wonderland", if I am to find a positive =)
This morning, I weighed in for the first time in two months. I found that I had gained 3 or 4 pounds. ARG! But overall, my clothes are still fitting good and for many possibilities, I could have gained a lot more than that.

I can go back and forth on everything... I started running on my walk this past weekend, and I set a great time for myself for the route. And now I have shin-splits. I have been watching what I'm eating a lot better and easier. But I have to be better at tracking my meals.

One thing I've learned in the past 10 months is that everything is about ATTITUDE. When I have a positive attitude, things go great, even if I didn't make a goal. When I have a negative attitude, I'm losing battles, no matter how well I try.

How can we apply this to every day life?
First, people can stop complaining. Seriously, just stop. For every complaint I've seen or heard, I can point out a few "worse" things so easily. So face the fact that you don't have it so bad.
Second, people can stop complaining. Just quit complaining. There ARE positives, and if you're bickering about "how bad" you have it, you'll miss the great things.
Third, people can stop complaining. Enough already. Did you ever read the story about the boy who cried wolf? Some people think it's just about false alarms, but overall, it tells you that the more you squawk, the more people will tune you out, or maybe just avoid the negativity. Listen to yourself and think of how many people you can irritate with your words. Then compare that to how many people don't seem to come around any more.
Finally, start every day with a positive. Be happy at something. Laugh at something. Hug someone. Make a good breakfast. Enjoy nature. Enjoy the sound of kids playing. Call an old friend, or better yet, call a foe and reconcile.

Face it, the negativity gets you no where.

People don't visit? The road is the same distance in both directions.
People talking trash about you? Is it true, and if so, how can you better yourself?  If it's not true, does it really matter what they say? They can't take your air away from you. Breath and move on.
People whining too much? Lift the positives - They can't take that away from you.
People on your case? Tell them to back off. If you're a grown-up, you have that ability. If they don't like it, then oh well.

Being positive is like having a strong rope pulling you up when you're trying to climb a cliff. The struggles might seem hard, and the anxiety can be overwhelming, but having that tug along the way give you the power to make it.

Have a great day!