Paulette and I attended a Marriage Encounter this past weekend. For those who have never heard of M.E., it's a weekend of sessions matched with writing and dialogue with your spouse.
For me, it was a Friday evening through Sunday afternoon of "cutting to the nub, skin pealing, mental anguish, humble vulnerability". It tore me up so many time, and made me less of what I was.
And I will be forever thankful.
My weekend started with the 150 mile drive to the hotel where we would be attending the Encounter - and I would hate to go more than a few miles with Paulette, because within a few miles, she'd want us to talk, but wouldn't have something to talk about. Grrr.
We then attended the first couple of sessions and found ourselves agreeing on something - if the Weekend would give us a horrible headache. Writing, talking, writing, talking... we "knew" how to do all of that. What we were wasting our time for?
By the end of the first evening, we were talking a whole new language, understanding each other more, and finding an insight for each other that we had never experienced. On the second day, we were exposing our souls, opening ourselves up to our joys, pains, and feelings. By the third day, we were saying things that we would never say to each other - nice things - that was like a new and fresh dessert. As we were driving home, we were talking, laughing, and thinking of all of the people we know who could attend a Weekend. We were even thinking of how we would find ways of staying in contact with fellow classmates and presenters. In Encounter, these people that we would be in covenant with are called "flames", using the symbolism of so many things, such as the Spirit's guidance. Paulette and I even joked that many of the couples were older than us, so would it be ok to call these people "old flames"?
When Paulette left my house to go back to her place, we found ourselves counting the weeks and the days until we'd be together again. In the past, we sometimes couldn't wait until we got back on the road, but now, we're renewed.
One of the keys this Weekend was learning to communicate. There were so many things that Paulette and I were trying to say, but we just didn't know how to say it - how to express our own feelings and allow the other to express theirs. And once we got a grasp on that, everything else, no matter how major, was so much easier to talk about - as natural as breathing.
Granted, there is and will be times when we have to remind ourselves who to communicate. Even with breathing, we have those huffs and puffs when climbing hills, but the other side of the hill so all downward and simple and easy!
If you or someone you know is interested in a Marriage Encounter, just ask me. It's may be the toughest time that people, newly married or married 55 years, will ever enjoy!!
It's MORE THAN worth it!
