Verbal ..., Spoken ..., Communicated ...,

As in many occupations, as a United Methodist pastor, I'm required to do continuing education. Currently I'm taking a Preaching class with about 60 or 70 other pastors around Nebraska and Kansas, a few as new as I am (if you can call 9+ years "new") and some who have been preaching for over 20 years, taught by two professors from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas (Thank God for web conferencing, when it works well). I'm also in a Pastoral Effectiveness class that uses Systems Theory by Boden from the 50s or so and translates it into church and pastoral ministry through the teachings of Rabbi Edwin Friedman.
An easier way to say all of might be that I'm learning where to draw lines and bettering my skills.

For me, one of the best part of continuing education is the opportunity to come together with my friends and colleagues from around the region. We get to share our joys and concerns. We get to share ideas how dealing with issues. We get to pull out the pictures of the kids and grandkids. We get to lift up the highs and vent about the lows.

My latest trip was one of my best, not necessary because of class sessions, but because of the trip. I had the pleasure of carpooling with a couple of colleagues and the opportunity to talk about things from new paint on the walls to new ideas in ministry to safely chatting about the news locally, regionally, and nationally. There was even an opportunity for me as I learned a new phrase that had been coined by someone else, although there may have been some agreement to try something different.

The trip back home took two hours (for all of us together), and as my friends were conversing about one of the subjects, I was able to quietly reflect and give thanks that I had that opportunity to be with those people there, and the people early that day in the class. I was thankful for the person in class who chatted with me about something that had happened in my life, and while I felt remorse in how was dealing with it, her concern was how I was feeling and doing and how life was going for me.  I was thankful for the support of the colleagues that I was in class with and that we are supportive of each others ministry, even standing firm on how we all have different styles of worship and preaching styles. I'm thankful for the ministry and hospitality of those who make our stays comfortable and pleasing when I'm at my continuing ed classes.

Now that it's just Dingo and me in the house, life is different again, and to vent, chat, talk, whatever is different - Dingo just looks at me. But if I ask Dingo for her advice, she usually just gets one of her chew toys and expects to be scratched. No help.

But I'm thankful for those who allow me to be me and who allow themselves to be themselves. Yes, we are pastors, but first, we're human.
... And there is joy watching someone get excited about an empty frame or a painted wall =)

The tale of two clubs

Once upon a time there was a person who visited a club. This person already knew the area, and knew the leader. This person wasn't looking for anything special, but what happened was surprising.
After visiting the club, this person got a letter from the club, which could be because of a "system" that has been in place for years by the club, not the leader, for this practice has been in place in the history of at least a few leaders. And again, this person already knew the leader.
This person also received a small gift from the club with a note. Again, a practice that has been in place for years.

This person also visited another club, although the situation was a little different. The other club had a situation that needed the assistance of many people, and this person jumped in and helped. This person helped the club, although only a few of the club members were there to work. While those of the club had some who are unable to do some tasks, and other would have showed up to their clubhouse unprepared, no one went to this particular person to say thanks, or to help out, or to offer a cup of coffee. While some might say that this person could have gone in where a reception was being held to get a cup of coffee and then some might have said thank you, would this person have felt welcome?

Some club members have offered reasons or explanations, but this person has already been in clubs that have had older, worn out, few club members.

Which club would this person want to be a part of and why?

Be a hero and Give Thanks

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope that whatever today has in store for you is something that you can celebrate in some way, maybe watching the parade, enjoying a football game, or eating enough food to feed a small country.

 

I just watched a story about Baltimore Raven football player Ray Rice and his work to end bullying and strive towards friendship. He pointed out that bullying has gotten so bad “because of the power of social media”.

 

When I looked up the definitions of bullying, I saw that many things I have seen on social media and heard from people is bullying – straight and plain. Someone can be a bully if they belittle someone because of a difference of opinion (ie: “My news channel is better than yours”) or anything degrading through a disagreement (ie: “You’re an idiot for thinking we’re going to change”). (Yes, the examples might seem far-fetched, but these are statements I’ve heard or seen in the past month).

Does this mean that people cannot have a difference of opinion or disagree? No. It means that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and people need to understand that there may be a point when further research is needed or it is just time to agree to disagree.

 

Rice also pointed out that we should “Be kind to somebody, because you never know what someone’s going through.” In a time of turmoil of uncertainties, this statement can’t ring any louder. We don’t know what someone else is going through. We don’t know the phone call that someone just received or the visit that so-and-so just encountered or the small disaster that the guy around the corner just dealt with. We can’t read someone’s mind or translate the stress that  someone is going through.

 

In a time when we can watch “hero” movies, let’s start at home, or better yet, within ourselves. As the story I saw pointed out, “You can be a hero just by being someone’s friend”.

 

Give thanks for what you do have. You may not agree with that lady, but bless-her-heart for being there when something is needed. You may not like that guy, but less-his-heart for praying for your family the other day when you didn’t even realize it. You may not like how things are priced, but thank God that you have a place to purchase that stuff. And the list can go on.

 

Give thanks.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rogue7Vp2uA

 

 

The power of words

The last few months have been a roller coaster - fun and thriller, and a little scary at the corners.
I'm enrolled in two continuing education courses. Two. I really only need one at a time, but one goes through the second half of 2013 and first half of 2014, and the second goes for 18 months, meeting every three months.
I'd say "do the math", but I wouldn't know how to converse about the equations, so the only thing I can explain is that every pastor is suppose to do some sort of education every year, so I can say without any doubt that I'm getting me education.

The type of classes I'm taking seems to flow so much into circumstances around me right now. I've been ministering to people dealing with unique, odd, troubling, or difficult situations (well, duh), but some of the ministering is dealing with how others say or react to a person's issues.

So many times recently, the phase has come up "I told them so" or "I felt it was better if they..." or "I knew what was best for them".
Really? You knew what was best for someone else, who in many cases, is only an acquaintance to you?

Or people, especially in an age of mass misinformation, will put their own spin on a news article, and somehow make it equate to why a situation has turned out a certain way.
So the government is responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. Got it.

The point is that when someone needs a friend to be there for them, or a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to vent to, more often then not, they don't need any sort of "I told you so".

To say goodbye

One part of my "job" is to officiate funerals. It's maybe one of the toughest parts of my job, because when I hardly know the person, I have to do some detective work to find out things in order to give the saint the best Service I can as well as do the best I can for the friends and family.
When it's someone I know, it's even harder, because even though I know something about the person, I've developed some sort of relationship with them.

Today was one of the tough ones for me. A true saint passed away this past week, and it struck me harder than I thought, even while I knew his time on earth was coming to an end.

Something that many people may not realize is that pastors have feelings too. I'm not saying this to build myself up - the family today knew how close this gentleman and I was... I'm saying this because I know of colleagues who are bogged during funeral planning and post-care and don't have time for themselves to mourn.
And as we all mourn in different ways, so do the pastors, as well as the people who help with the other work - the folks who put the fellowship dinner together, or the musician, or the funeral director, or the custodian.

Even though October is "Pastor Appreciation Month", be sure to take time to remember everyone in those moments when too many things are taken for granted.
... after all, it may not be the best cup of coffee, but it is a cup of coffee.

I'm not 50... yet

I turned 49 yesterday. I have to say that I wish that I could have taken the day away to enjoy it a little more, but I had plenty of work to get done, but for me, it's not so much about the "day" as it is about the "celebration". So this Saturday will be the day - doing a Walk in support for Down Syndrome at Pierce High School in the morning, and then going to see Bob Newhart (you know, the EMMY AWARD WINNING for his appearance on the BIG BANG THEORY Bob Newhart)
(Yeah, I'm a fan)

I can recall my 30th birthday because of someone calling me in the middle of the night to be the first to wish me a happy birthday.
I can recall my 40th birthday because the choir of the church I was serving would start the Worship with a song, and the song that day was "Happy Birthday".
And now that I'm getting closer to 50 - much closer - I have to admit that I can feel my heels dragging just a pinch.

The other day as I was driving down the road, I recalled a trip I took with my dad when I was little. I believe we were going to my Grandpa Burkhardt's 50th birthday party.
I could be wrong on a detail or two, but again, I reference my newly acquired age.
I do remember thinking about Grandpa being 50, and thinking "Boy, he's really getting old". Umm, yeah.

I also remember doing the math in my head as I was walking home from elementary school on Columbus Ohio, and thinking "how old will I be in 2000, and what year will I be 30, 40, 50, etc?" And again, the idea of a new century seemed far fetched, let alone being 50 years old. Thank God there was a nice old lady that lived a couple doors down from us who taught me about Heaven and such (it's where I remember first learning "...red, and yellow, black, and white, they are precious in his sight..." and learning about "letting Jesus into your heart", using a particular picture as an illustration).

But as I've rounded the last corner on the road to 50, the idea of being "old enough to be a grandpa" and not being so shocked when the movies I enjoyed in my younger days comes on American Movie Classics.

But one thing that sticks in my head was a recent trip to meet my new doctor. As we were going through my file, I noticed my age and discussed my family history and mentioned "you have a couple of years for "that" procedure.
Then he saw my birth date and said "see you soon".

The Power

When I started preaching, I would be amazed at the number of people that would tell me "good Message" or "great Sermon". I was even more amazed at the number of people who would say that and then I'd remember seeing them sleeping during the Message.

 

But there has been times when someone will come back and chat about a particular part of something I preached. Maybe a sermon illustration, or how the key topic rang in their ears, or how something said reflected on their own life.

In more than a few times, these instances have brought people to tears.

I hope that the tears were from the power of the Holy Spirit touching their lives in some way - maybe a caring memory, or a reassurance of grace. Sometimes people have told me directly how they were touched by something in the Message or the Scripture that particular day.

 

On the other side of that coin are those who see someone moved in a particular way and then will stop and stare, or point out how someone was crying on the way home after church.

 

I've had moments when I've been moved to tears because of a Message or the Word. Heck, there are some hymns that I can't sing because they make me cry (but yes, they will pop up during my churches' Worship Services... there is an advantage to having the pulpit far from people). And to this day, I still get choked up when I think about certain parishioners from my past, young and old, still alive and passed on, and the impact they've made in my ministry.

 

When the Spirit has touched someone in such a visible or meaningful way, it's a great thing to celebrate, especially in a time when we're so rushed that we can't find out own glasses on the bridge of our noses.

 

Let's shout out "I've got the Power!"