Blessed are the meek

I've said it before, and as much as I dislike repeating myself, I'll say it again - my blogs are my opinions, viewpoints, etc. After all, that's what a blog is.

This time of year can be stressful for me. There are some end-of-the-year items to take care of around my office, as well as getting the Sunday and other worship services put together. That being said, "Murphy" tends to show up a lot - you know, Murphy's Law... so at some point, something will happen, and so far, "Murphy" has even found a way into every aspect of my day AND night life.

In a recent meeting with a couple of ladies, as we were discussing some plans for the upcoming year, one of them commented about the various issues I probably encounter in any given day. Unfortunately, I didn't have my volumes of notes to go over what had happened in the previous hours, but we also didn't have the time either. LOL

Even though Christmas is about giving, love, caring, and humility, remembering that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the Christ-child, this time of year seems to bring out a side of people that often times can't be explained. Grouchy, irritable, tired, worn out... you name it, it's there.

But why are we worn out? Why are we grouchy? Why are we tired? Why are we irritable?
Is it because someone doesn't want to have a Merry Christmas? That's their issue - pray for them.
Is it because someone doesn't like someone else and wants to take it out on you? Let them deal with their issues. And pray for them.
Is it because they have other issues happening in their life? Be compassionate and understanding and pray for them.

All too often we let the rush of the world blind us from the some important things in life that we should be concerned with
...The guy might look grumpy, but he just got bad news about his family.
...The lady might have rushed out of a meeting and not said anything, but maybe she had only a few minutes to be with a loved one.
...The family doesn't say much, but maybe they've been judged harshly sometime in the past.

Sometimes it's the little things in life that make the greatest impact. Cherish them. Value them. Appreciate them.

a Christmas memory

A Christmas memory of mine is of how we, as a family, would go out to my grandparents homes. By that, I mean that we would go to one grandparent's house and another, sometimes back and forth. They lived about eleven miles apart, so it was somewhat simple. At the time, it might have seemed a little odd for me, but as I'm making my own plans, I'm juggling schedules with my daughter-in-law and her family plans as well. Now I'm understanding the whole back and forth thing.

The two southwest Ohio Christmases were different - my mom was an only-child, so it was just the four of us kids - we could all sit around one large table to eat, and I still remember Santa Claus showing up when we were opening our gifts. My dad was the oldest of six, and so the adults would be in one room while the kids would go in another room. All of the family was still together at key points though - we just went in different rooms because when you have so many children playing under the feet of a dozen adults, someone could get their fingers stepped on.

A big difference compared to today is how as kids, we were playing with toy cars and trucks and stuff. The neatest electronic toy of the day might have been some handheld football game that showed dots on a screen.
Nowadays it's whatever "i" or "droid" that can gig and boot.

The talk of the day (that I remember) was what else Santa brought us.
Now it's whatever news - rumored, maybe true, or true - is on the internet.

Dinner was all homemade. My Grandma Burkhardt would make Chex-Mix before someone did the wrong thing by bagging it, which is (in my opinion) no where close to the same.
Now I'm listening to everyone talk about how busy they are to cook (side note - my brother works, covers overtimes, runs over an hour every day, and can find time to bake dozens of cookies each night. Sorry, no sympathy here).

What if we went back to a simpler time? What if we put away the electronics and turned off the media devices and cell phones? What if we set down with our friends and loved ones for Christmas?
What would Christmas be like?

Do I smile? Do you?

There is a running joke with some people about whether or not I smile. Some say that I don't. Some say that I'm always grumpy. Some will say "that IS his smile".

The truth is that yes, I smile. I even laugh. I've even been known to laugh uncontrollably.

But there is also a truth that is the "unnamed" response. I've blogged about it before, and if you follow me on social media, you may have even seen some posts that I've shared that have talked about this "unnamed" issue.

I'm not sure why it's unnamed. Maybe it's because pastors/clergy/ministers/priests are "professional". We stand at a pulpit and preach a Message of love and grace. We give a eulogy when one of our flock as passed. We comfort the hurting in their times of need. We visit the sick and injured when they're laid up.
And we listen to the issues of the day - the light bulb wasn't replaced from yesterday. The grass is 1/4 inch too high. The flowers in the Narthex aren't quite right. The Message we preached wasn't nice. We're over on the mileage budget. We're not visiting enough. The coffee pot was 2 inches to the left during Fellowship. The cookies were too big. The weather is too cold or hot.
... And that's while we're working on the next Service - planning the Litany, Congregational Prayers, hymns, and researching, planning, and writing a Message. And that's as long as there are not interruptions from any of the above. Toss in any issues, and the "workday" has at least tripled when you figured travel time.

So do I smile? Yes. But I have other emotions as well.
For example, I cry.
This morning, I cry for the little boy who has struggled and fought (more than I could!) for a year with a transplant, only to have it removed later. (side note: the removal will help him to be better, but this kid has been such a trooper for over a year - including staying in a hospital this entire time - only to have another surgery. I don't think anyone can have that kind of strength).
I cry for those who are struggling. So many things to worry about, but the truth is that there is hope. But when struggling, I also understand that it takes a little extra work to be calm.

And I cry for many other reasons, including my own. There is an unwritten rule that shepherds can't have emotions, that we have to "keep it together". But I'll let you in on something - ever since the song "Pass It On" was used at a funeral at my first parish, I can't sing it without getting choked up. I can't sing "Let There Be Peace On Earth" without shedding a tear. And I get emotional when people get ugly at others.

Maybe the key is to have more peace. More peace towards one another. Then we can see what troubles and issues others are having, even while we're going through our issues. Maybe we can extend love and understanding to each other.
Maybe we can all smile.

Tis the Season

I have to admit that I've grown to be a little bit of a cynic. Maybe I'm becoming the Grinch. Could it be that my heart has become two sizes too small?

I've wondered about this year after year with no success. Or am I over thinking this? After all, I've celebrated Christmas year after year. I have. I've thought about it as I've written Advent and Christmas Eve Messages, consoled the lost and mourning at this time of year, and searched for the few spare minutes to get some resemblance of a Christmas tree put up in my living room.

OK - I'm a little, or a lot, sarcastic. But in a way, I've found myself working more instead of absorbing the joys that I've been so accustom to this time of year. Some of this is because of my life (job), and some of it is the "side stuff" while trying to relax.
No, I'm not going to try to explain it - I've got docs and shrinks on speed-dial for that. And I think that have their own shrinks on speed-dial after dealing with me. Can't blame them.

My brother enjoys this time of year. I think he transforms his entire living room, and in his blog, he talks about the smell of a live tree and fresh baked cookies. But as I read it, I couldn't recall those scents. I remember my mom working in the kitchen for what seemed like days making all kinds of cookies, and I remember that we had live Christmas trees when I was a kid (which at the time, drove me nuts because we had to pick those needles out of the carpet).
Then as I was picking up a few things at the local grocery store this afternoon, I caught a whiff of the fresh wreaths for sale. Pine wreaths. And the memories came back like a rush of warm air on a cold day.
And when I came home, I watch a video of a airline that did a special promo Christmas surprise for some of their customers. It made me think back to the times when I played Santa Claus - the many times. And most of all, I recalled a time when I was Santa for a special group of kids who were in a  group home because of abuse or neglect, and the gifts that Santa gave them that day were possibly the only gifts they'd get.

I preach about what the Season is about, but in the rush of the world, this is one of the busy-times. At Christmastime, when families are together worshiping, or gathering together around the dinner table, or traveling to be with loved ones afar, I've been behind the pulpit, or getting a meal at a friend's church on the way to see someone in the hospital, or making plans for the next worship service.

No, I'm not doing a "pity me" thing - I'm realizing that I need to open my eyes.

So after I preach at my two churches on Christmas Eve, I'm taking a break. I'm going to enjoy life. I'm going to catch up on lost time with my granddaughters. I'm going to find that smile again. (Yeah, I really do "smile" sometimes). I'm going to go do something and have fun doing it.

Life is not about what we get or give. It's about what's in the heart... The memories, the joy. The peace. The hope. The love.
... and I think my Grinch-heart just grew three sizes.

The darkness of death or the light of life?

As I mentioned in my previous post and in a few Facebook comments, I've spent the past few days learning a lot not so much through the continuing education classes I'm in (although I am learning a lot in those), but from my friends. I would say colleagues, but I can also call these people friends, and I would be remiss if I didn't.

One of the conversations we had was how we dealt with funerals or memorial services. If I understood correctly, another pastor felt that there was too much emphasis on talking about the person and not about the resurrection of Christ. Some might separate the two topics as Message and Eulogy.

When I looked up the definition of "funeral", the word "ceremony" kept coming up, as well as a time of remembering a person.
So I took the hint of a couple of my friends as well as the words I say each time - that we are there to "celebrate the life" of a person. But I also preach the gospel, meaning the Good News, of Jesus Christ, and how he died and rose again to take the sting of death away. For that, we have the promise of hope.

I used those words as I met with a family earlier today, and something happened - something that I don't think has ever quite happened in my 9+ years of pastoral ministry. Call it the Holy Spirit.
When I explained the Service and purpose of the Service, the family began to weep, remembering their loved one, but then opened up more than I have ever seen, and we had a grand time talking about their fun and fond memories.

We mourn loss - even pastors mourn. But we also celebrate the life. And we celebrate the hope and grace given to us - a gift, given to each and every one of us, without a price.

Celebrate.

Verbal ..., Spoken ..., Communicated ...,

As in many occupations, as a United Methodist pastor, I'm required to do continuing education. Currently I'm taking a Preaching class with about 60 or 70 other pastors around Nebraska and Kansas, a few as new as I am (if you can call 9+ years "new") and some who have been preaching for over 20 years, taught by two professors from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas (Thank God for web conferencing, when it works well). I'm also in a Pastoral Effectiveness class that uses Systems Theory by Boden from the 50s or so and translates it into church and pastoral ministry through the teachings of Rabbi Edwin Friedman.
An easier way to say all of might be that I'm learning where to draw lines and bettering my skills.

For me, one of the best part of continuing education is the opportunity to come together with my friends and colleagues from around the region. We get to share our joys and concerns. We get to share ideas how dealing with issues. We get to pull out the pictures of the kids and grandkids. We get to lift up the highs and vent about the lows.

My latest trip was one of my best, not necessary because of class sessions, but because of the trip. I had the pleasure of carpooling with a couple of colleagues and the opportunity to talk about things from new paint on the walls to new ideas in ministry to safely chatting about the news locally, regionally, and nationally. There was even an opportunity for me as I learned a new phrase that had been coined by someone else, although there may have been some agreement to try something different.

The trip back home took two hours (for all of us together), and as my friends were conversing about one of the subjects, I was able to quietly reflect and give thanks that I had that opportunity to be with those people there, and the people early that day in the class. I was thankful for the person in class who chatted with me about something that had happened in my life, and while I felt remorse in how was dealing with it, her concern was how I was feeling and doing and how life was going for me.  I was thankful for the support of the colleagues that I was in class with and that we are supportive of each others ministry, even standing firm on how we all have different styles of worship and preaching styles. I'm thankful for the ministry and hospitality of those who make our stays comfortable and pleasing when I'm at my continuing ed classes.

Now that it's just Dingo and me in the house, life is different again, and to vent, chat, talk, whatever is different - Dingo just looks at me. But if I ask Dingo for her advice, she usually just gets one of her chew toys and expects to be scratched. No help.

But I'm thankful for those who allow me to be me and who allow themselves to be themselves. Yes, we are pastors, but first, we're human.
... And there is joy watching someone get excited about an empty frame or a painted wall =)

The tale of two clubs

Once upon a time there was a person who visited a club. This person already knew the area, and knew the leader. This person wasn't looking for anything special, but what happened was surprising.
After visiting the club, this person got a letter from the club, which could be because of a "system" that has been in place for years by the club, not the leader, for this practice has been in place in the history of at least a few leaders. And again, this person already knew the leader.
This person also received a small gift from the club with a note. Again, a practice that has been in place for years.

This person also visited another club, although the situation was a little different. The other club had a situation that needed the assistance of many people, and this person jumped in and helped. This person helped the club, although only a few of the club members were there to work. While those of the club had some who are unable to do some tasks, and other would have showed up to their clubhouse unprepared, no one went to this particular person to say thanks, or to help out, or to offer a cup of coffee. While some might say that this person could have gone in where a reception was being held to get a cup of coffee and then some might have said thank you, would this person have felt welcome?

Some club members have offered reasons or explanations, but this person has already been in clubs that have had older, worn out, few club members.

Which club would this person want to be a part of and why?