(Beeping) High Anxiety

This has got to be one of the most stressful weeks that I can remember having. On top of having to get my work wrapped up for Course of Study, I've been busy with working some details of the "Fairfield Creek Fire". I get to do this because I'm the Disaster Response Coordinator for my District.
I don't mind it so much, but I have a different level of seeing things than others do, so for example, in everything I do, I have to be sure to not use "firefighter language" when talking to people who aren't firefighters. I found this out when using the term "cleanup".
Another thing I found out was that there are so many people who want to help (which is a great thing!), but what kind of help is needed is necessary to know first. An example is that someone wanted to take loads of water and certain supplies for the firefighters. As it turned out, the Command Post was well-stocked (over stocked) already with those items.

This reminds me of when I was taught to keep my composure when running with lights & siren while driving a Rescue Squad or Fire Truck. One Paramedic told me "Carry on a conversation, and still watch the traffic".
What he was teaching was that if my nerves were stressed or I was excited in any way, I would lose focus on what I'm really doing. This way, I can think through the call before I arrive, or consider alternative routes in case I run into something while enroute to the hospital (and this was done when I was in southern California - a whole different kind of driving).

But with the fire being as bad as it's been, and the area I live in being in a severe drought situation (bad enough to where some people's wells have run dry), every time the town siren starts up or my pager beeps, my heart starts to race a little more.
I hate this, because I joke that I can get my dog into her cage, get my truck out of the garage, and get to the Station using a bumpy alley (so I can't drive fast), while someone else will race to beat all heck, dodging everything in site, and leave me in the dust, but even when they pull up ahead of me, their catching their breath as I'm walking calmly, and it usually means I'm in my gear and on a Truck before them....
Now I've rambled because the point was that I have learned to be really, really calm.

But now I'm in panic-mode.
Town Siren starts (even for the noon whistle) or Beeper beeps (just for tests), my pulse races. LOL

I'm afraid to "get the call". I'm afraid to have something more "tossed on my plate". I'm afraid to have to "add something more to the pile".

With all that said, I know that I'm incredibly horrible when it comes to time management. And now I've been having to add in answering questions and getting information for the Conference Office (which is easy - I don't mind. I just want to do a good job).

So after this round of Course of Study, I am going to be taking a vacation, as in vacating. No beeper. Probably no cell either. Just me and the open road.
I'll probably go to......
NO--- I'm not going to say. Someone might find me. =)

In closing, I got a note from an old friend who told me how the firefighters I worked with at my last location have been running every day. I'm sure others have also. I saw on the news this evening that one department worked a smaller fire this evening for 24 hours.
So PLEASE keep all these people in your thoughts and prayers. The firefighters, the support personnel, etc. Please.

Blessings.

Staying posititve after 11 weeks

Today was another weigh-in day. I have to admit that I've been so positive with all that I've lost so far - 28 pounds. And seeing the results is motivating me even more. Even the other day when I bought a shirt that I was going to use as a goal, only to find that it already fits me, was one great moment for me.
But as much as I should be happy, for some reason, I'm "not feeling it". Last week (10 weeks), I had only lost one pound for the week. This week (11 weeks), I hadn't lost anything.

Now the positive of this is that I'm not gaining anything. So what am I doing wrong?

Part of my insurance gives me Health Coaching through Web MD. At the same time, they happened to call me today to see how things were going. HA! Perfect timing!
While chatting with the Coach, I looked back at what I've been eating, and there was a day or two when I hit the fried foods, but was still well under my calories for the day.
I looked at some other days and saw that I was really under my daily calories.
... then it hit me - I'm really under my calories.

Now I'm not an expert, but one thing I remember learning is that if I don't take in enough food, the body will start storing as well as slowing the metabolism. And I've been wondering why I've been so tired!
I even looked back at my brother's food diary and saw that he had some days with big gaps, but he also had days when he went over, so for the week, it all equaled out.

Something else I'm wanting to incorporate is some strength training or upper-body workout. My legs are starting to be somewhat "defined", but I'd like my arms to catch up a little. I am concerned that my "weight loss number" might not reflect the fat-loss as much, but I how would I get past that? Should I hire some people to stand in certain business through my day to say things like "wow" and "awesome" and "looking good Kevin"?
Yeah, that's pushing it.
I know that the numbers might level as they did when I once lost lots of fat, gained some good muscle, became much slender, but still weighed the same amount when it was all said and done.

So what do I do... I'm going to head out to the store, get some healthy food so I can spread out my meals in a healthy way, and start working my arms a little more. There is still plenty of flab to come off, and in the end (and gut, thighs, etc), the numbers should show it.

Here we go again =)

Oh, you're SO smart!

I recently read a colleague's blog in which she describes how someone was "very concerned" about her eternal future, going so far as to grab the colleague's arm and tap her nose.
I've been making some visits of people who have been making me aware of some things - either what has frustrated people or how much some people are unaware of the workings of the church, both on a Local level as well as the General level.
Last night, someone inquired about a call I respond on recently, asking about how someone was flown out to a specialty hospital, the seriousness, etc. First, I usually cannot answer those question based on the obligations I hold as an E.M.T., but I was able to say that wherever they got their information was way off - as in "it never happened".

One thing I have found is that all is not lost. There is some hope left in the world. There are some people who will take the time to call me and set up an appointment/meeting/visit, and sit and casually chat with me about whatever questions, concerns, ideas, or thoughts they have. And if there is something that is done a way that they may not agree with, then they understand that, well, that's just how it is - just like we know we have to go to the doctor's office, then there's that moment when the doctor has to become "friendly" with us. We may not agree with it, but that's how it's done. (Boy, I can't wait for modern science to make certain things a lot easier!)

I could go through a few biblical references, if not a few dozen, referring to knowledge and such. But instead, I'll just put it like this...
If you don't know, find out. If you don't want to find out, don't say anything. If you do say something and you don't know anything, expect the consequences.

Blessings.

How good are you to others... and do you tell others?

Earlier today while I was sitting in my living room, I noticed an SUV from a nearby county pulling up in my driveway. As the driver, an elderly lady, stepped out of it, I stepped outside to see if I could help her - I didn't know her, and maybe there was something she needed that would be better taken care of at my office or something.

She introduced herself and her husband, who was sitting in the passenger seat, and then thanked me for buying their lunch a day or two ago.
(Rewind)
I had gone to the Tiger Tavern (the local diner in Osmond) to have a sandwich for lunch, and while sitting there, an elderly couple was at another table. I could overhear them talking with the waitress, and they were so polite. I had no idea who they were, and it didn't matter. I just felt like being nice.

I do that sometimes. Maybe to the stressed-out mom or the police officer or whoever. Sort of like the movie "Pay It Forward". An exception would be that I don't hang around to explain - I just pay someone's tab and walk away. Many times I will tell the waitress to not say anything, other than that the tab was paid and that the person or people can return the favor to someone else in some kind way. but in almost every case, the waitress will spill the beans and give me up.
Sometimes I might buy everyone's coffee when we all get together and swap stories in the morning, just because. Usually it's because I think almost everyone in there has bought me a cup of coffee or a roll, so I'm just returning the favor, but that one will go back and forth until I die probably.

But when people find out that I bought their lunch or something, I've gotten a thank you when someone has seen me, but in a few cases (and only a few) has someone gone out of their way to come find me to thank me or send me a note.

Don't get the wrong idea - I'm not looking for the thanks - actually, quite the opposite. I'd rather the person or people humbly go do something good for someone else.
And then there have been times when I've done something like this and told the person "just go do something nice for someone secretly", and then found out that as they did that nice thing, they made sure to let everyone know how great they were... sort of lost it's flavor, buddy.

So here's a challenge for you - do something good for someone quietly. Pay for someone's slice of pie, pay for the lunch of the person behind you at the drive-thru, leave some donuts for the firefighters or cops (check with the people in charge first to make sure it doesn't go against any policies), etc.
This is something more than holding a door open for someone, it taking the time to go to the manager of the store to let him/her know of the good job that one of the employees were doing, even if it wasn't the best - TELL THE POSITIVE. It's surprising the waiter with a tip that he would have deserved but might not have gotten because of problems outside of his control. It's cutting your neighbor's grass when their at work so that they don't have to.

If you get stopped and asked why, just tell them you're just being nice. If you're asked more, just tell them to pass a favor to someone else. If the person persists with questions or something, blame me.

Good deed-doing to you.
Blessings!

Learning Weight loss

When I started to seriously take on my new lifestyle, losing weight, eating right, leaving the stress out of my life, no one really told me how to do it. Some of it I had to learn on my own, but I did learn some things from my brother and my doctors.

One thing that I did learn from my brother but didn't truly realize so much was how the loss of weight would mean so much. In the first month, I had lost 10 pounds, but joked that it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I wanted the pounds off faster and easier. That was after about 4 weeks.

It's been 9 weeks now, and I've lost 27 pounds so far. At times, it is hard. I have to consider what to eat and when because of my job (hospital calls that run late doesn't give me much opportunity to eat when I get home, church potlucks are hard to measure because I never really know what is in the recipe, or as I found out recently, my "public position" causes me to have to do some things to be "part of the community", which might mean taking part in judging those Pie Baking contests). But I also have found that it is very simple to remember to check my smartphone to see what I have available for calories for the day when I go shopping for supper. It also causes me to check labels more quickly, which I would hardly ever do before (and I also have to check for the sodium as well).

It's also hard to decide what to wear. If I'm in a meeting where I'll be sitting most of the time, I can get by with wearing certain slacks, but if I'm standing a lot, such as going briefings or preaching, I have to wear other pants so that I don't have to "hike up" my slacks as much, or I can wear a shirt that will go over my belt line so people don't see the waistline bunched up in a spot or two.

Even wearing a tie is a different experience. The other day as I put on a tie, I realized that I couldn't snug it as I would a month ago... my neck wasn't as "fat" as it once was, so my shirt fit my differently, and so I had to fit the tie to the neckline of the shirt and not snug it like I once did. Awesome.

And in this heatwave, I haven't been able to get out and walk as I would like. Just standing outside for the Committal Service during the Funeral this last Monday was enough to make me have to drink a few extra bottles of water. And yet, I'm still losing weight. Even after my semi-jokes of not getting off the pounds fast enough in the beginning, I'm now seeing a light at the end of the tunnel that I would once only fantasize about.

And so what will life be like in 3 months as my birthday draws near? Who knows. At this pace, I'm cautious to say. Maybe I'm afraid to say because it's a place that I have hoped to find for so long but once doubted that it was possible, yet now I'm so close, and if I make it, then I will be celebrating so much that I won't have to post it - people will hear me shout it.

But life still goes on. One step at a time, and each step gets me that much closer. And as I get that much closer, I'm a better person, and as a better person, I'm happier in my own way.
Just watch what happens next (insert silly chuckle).

There is a time for everything

Ecclesiastes 3:1 starts off with "There is a time for everything..."
This past couple of days proves it.

As I sat with the daughters of a dear parishioner by her bedside as she drew her final breath and went to be with the Lord, I couldn't help but stop and think of the number of times this nice woman would tell me the same story of, as a child, walking two miles with her mom to go clean the Stark Valley Church (which is now torn down).
And then this morning, I got an anticipated phone call from a parishioner who just became a grandparent for the first time. I rejoiced with him as he "recited the numbers" of the time of birth, the weight, and the length of his new grandson.

I've just completed putting the finally touches on tomorrow's Message, coinciding with Holy Communion as well as the love for one another that we should have. I also started compiling everything for the Memorial Service for Betty as we will be celebrating her life on Monday morning, and I'll be getting the rest of the notes from the family tomorrow night (so now I have a little head-start).

Part of my Scripture for tomorrow comes from 1 John 3:16 - "We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us - and we ought to lay down our lives for one another."
How much are we willing to sacrifice? How much are we willing to give of ourselves?

Betty gave her entire life as a testimony to the love of God. The new grandfather will do anything to protect his grandson.

What will we do to show that we are who we are?
Or have you already shown you who really are?

I guess you'll have to ask yourself if you can answer that, and can everyone who knows you give the same answer?
Blessings.

Happiness is not having to do your job.

Forewarning... I'm tired, so if this don't make a lot of sense, call it "abstract writing" LOL
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When I was a little kid, I remember that there was nothing more that I wanted to do then to be Squad 51. I wanted to be just like Roy and Johnny, because not only were they firefighters, but they were also Paramedics, and they did the neat rescue call as well.
Oh yeah - that was me. I wasn't just going to be fighting fires - I was going to be doing special rescues and saving lives and repelling down cliffs and climbing giant ladders.
...Then I realized that I sometimes have a fear of heights.

There are lots of aspects of my job that I enjoy. I can tell you the name of the first child I baptized, what date it was, and the fact that he had to travel 1000 miles for me to baptize him in my church (Seriously! But that's another story).
I can also tell you about the first couple I married, and how I was feeling when they found me in my office.
Or about the Confirmation student whose favorite basketball team was a rival of the Resident Bishop (and she made sure he knew it - again, another story for another time).
I can also tell you about when I looked up and there wasn't a dry eye in the church because great-grandpa was singing a solo as I was walking a baby around after her baptism.
And there was the time that a 99-year old woman had the entire church rolling in the aisles, and left me speechless (which you know is hard to do).
And we can't forget when the lady made a speech in church, and then promptly kissed the top of my bald head.

Yes, we all have things in our jobs that bring back fond memories, or something that makes us laugh. Like a firefighter who had fun teaching kids about fire safety, and one of the children asks that "certain wrong question" that only mommy or daddy should answer.
Or when the police officer gets a kind "thank you" for calling a tow truck for someone.
Or when the Medic offers a little child a band-aid for a girl's dolly who has a "boo boo".

But all also have those "moments" that we wish we didn't have.
I remember I once asked a Firefighter/Medic "What's your favorite kind of call?" He answered "the call I never have to respond to."
I now use that as a mantra as well. I volunteer on a Department because it's needed, it's a civic duty, and because I have a gift, but I hope that I never have to use that gift. I pray that I have to replace the battery in my pager because of non-use.

Think of that Firefighter that is teaching fire safety. Maybe it's because he or she just had to pull some people out of a burning building.
Consider the Police Officer who called the tow truck for someone. Maybe the tow truck is to clear the fatal accident that took the lives of some little kid's parents.
Remember that Medic when they walk by you, trying to release their tnesion. Maybe they just had to play nice to a little girl and her dolly while mommy and daddy had to go to the hospital from a horrific accident.

Just as I think of all of the good times I've had in my 8 years so far as a Pastor, I've also had many tears and hardship. I've buried many friends. Today was no exception.
I enjoy the aspect of being there for people, but I greive as well, and it's just as hard for many Pastors, in their own way, to grieve, when we've lost someone we've gotten to know so well.

I think about a reply my brother made about a challenge I recently had - as a Pastor, I was one of the judges at a local festival Pie Baking Contest. (Sounds good so far, huh?). But when I'm working to lose weight, living up to all sorts of responsibilities can be tough. Even though I only had a bite of each pie, there were 21 pies there... 21 bites equals about 3 or 4 slices of pie. As one man pointed out to me today - in winetasting, people are given buckets to spit the wine into. Where was mine? Well, after about halfway, I needed a bucket, because this boy was getting full (and ill), and fast!
I like pie, and I had fun but now I wish I didn't have to do that part of my job.

Anyways - as I look at the time and realize that an aspect of my job is to also meet with families to help plan the funerals of their loved ones, so I need to wrap this up...
Remember that just like you have you're good days and bad days, so does everyone else. Don't complain when someone isn't as nice to you as you think they should be... maybe you weren't as nice as you should have been. Consider all of the "what ifs", and have a nice day, because if you let the small stuff get you, tomorrow is only going to be worse.
And again, consider the other person. (It's sort of like "love thy neighbor")